Armpit what???

My computer had been down for all of last week. So annoying!! But for the moment it is working OK, not as good as it was before, seems some programmes have gone missing including Skype but it just means extra work for me this week ahead.

Last week I managed to catch one of my favorite shows on TV - Fashion Police with Joan Rivers. Joan is old, she is so old it hurts, but her wit and humor get me every time. I think she has one foot in the grave (understatement) that she doesn't really care if she makes any enemies. Or may be she is so past that age and stage of trying to people please that she just tells it like it is and shrugs her shoulders and what the reaction of others may be.

Anywho, on the show, the four fashion experts were talking about something that intrigued me- I could so relate because a couple of weeks ago when I wore my corset I noticed it for the very first time. If you are in your teens or twenties stop reading now because you will just not get it. If you are over and above and have ever looked at yourself in the mirror and wondered what the hell that extra meat is hanging out of your armpit then read on.

You know when you hold your arm close to your body and there is a big fold of skin where your armpit meets your chest? That is called Armpit FAT. Armpit fat!!! EEEWWWW! I was disgusted with myself for even noticing it on my body. You see, I do the yoga, I run, I lost the baby weight within three weeks, so I felt totally let down (by myself) when I saw that I owned ARMPIT FAT. Gross.

If you know what I am talking about then you too must have had a horror moment in front of your mirror. You may also have gone into the gym and did some extra arm and chest work to be rid of it. You can help get rid of it with jumping jacks but, and this is a BIG BUT,  I did some research and found out that it is not all gloom and doom, ladies. All it is is breast tissue that has sort of traveled (without a visa, how dare it!). All you have to do is wear the right bra and when you put the bra on, bend over and pull in all the extra tissue and then tighten your bra straps. Do this for three or four days and viola, no more armpit fat!!!!! I did it and I am super happy that my jet setting breast tissue is back home safe and sound.

The point is, we all get older, things tend to shift and sag but it really is up to us to maintain the good looks and shapely figure - its a simple rule of thumb! Have a beautiful week.

Bangles and beads and bobbles..

Before I begin - I found the shoes, phew! Hubby was playing an early April Fools joke on me!

So, how has the week been for you? Confusing in terms of weather? I know! I don't know how to dress at this time of the year - but I feel if you layer it, you can always peel off what feels uncomfy. But nope, my blog is not going to be fashion tips and what have you, this week I have decided to name drop in my blog.

So last week started off in a super exciting manner. I forgot to mention that I met up with THE Randolph Gray at Brew Bistro last Sat night. Randolph is hair stylist to the stars and has been doing my hair for over 10 years. I love him, his humour, his attitude - everything. We are supposed to be doing a fashion shoot sometime this week - I cannot wait! That night I also met long time pal Paul Kukubo at the same place. Paul is in the IT industry and works for the government - he deserves every piece of success he gets because he has worked real hard for it and well, is an overall nice guy.

That was Saturday night, Tuesday came around and I found myself sipping an ice cold coke with none other than Deejay Adrian. Ady and I go way back - almost 10 years or more. We were chatting about so much and catching up on the days when we had mad fun together - that included a trip to LA together. I have decided that I am going to be his sidekick. The guy travels like mad and he has the equation sorted - less work, more money and TRAVEL. Don't we love to travel. Plus, I gave him a few hints and ideas - am sure he is going to implement them, so from this point on if he does ANYTHING super huge, I will take credit for it. Well, not because I want any financial gain, but because it is Ady, he is cool with it and he knows me and my madness!

Wednesday - saw me at Westgate having meetings with the management. I am organising an annual event called FAB which stands for fashion and beauty and we needed to iron out little details. It is super exciting working on this event and I cannot wait for July to come around so that it can be here already! I bumped into an international magazine editor (am not allowed to say who) and we chatted. It seems that they may want me to do some work for them (am not allowed to say what). All will be revealed in good time.

Thursday - I was emceeing an event at Nairobi Academy. You see the kids there had come up with an idea to do social work in their extra time. I thought the cause was noble and when they asked me to emcee their fashion show of course I said yes. The event was sponsored by the Deacons group and because I work very closely with them I could not refuse. It was super fun and a nice surprise to see Collo from Kleptomaniax there. He tells me he is going to be a father soon and we chatted about silly things. He made fun of me (as usual) and I made fun of the fact that I think he looks like a very short Usher (not someone who shows you your seat, but the singer).

Friday was April Fools day - it did not help the fact that a huge company called me and wanted Indian faces for a TV Commercial. I went mad calling people and sending texts - everyone thought it was a joke. Well, joke is on you when you see the ad on TV and kick yourself! Next time I am NOT doing business on April Fools. I did not get fooled though but did make a lame attempt at fooling the husband - he didn't fall for it! Shame! Friday also saw me pulling out my corset for Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras was absolute fun. My friends had organised it in order to raise money for their brothers team for Rhino Charge. I had a beautiful mask and was told that the way to collect beads is to flash the person with the most beads. I did not flash no one (but did ask for their numbers and told them I would 'flash' them later - flash is slang for a missed call), but I did end up with plenty of beaded necklaces. The deejay played music that ensured I did not get off the dance floor. It was super fantastic. Btw, after the previous weekends escapade - I promised that I would not drink but when the jello shots were being passed around I had to do as the crowd were doing; when in Rome (when at a Mardi Gras)..
I had some interesting conversations - some included 'how did you have a baby' as a conversation starter. I am sure the dude meant 'how did I manage to fit into my jeans after baby' but if he was seriously asking about 'how I had a baby' then it was not my place to chat to him about the birds and the bees and seriously, he should not have been allowed anywhere near the bar because clearly he was no way near over 18.
There was a point that the shoes came off, but I quickly found them and put them back on. So what if my feet were screaming blue murder! But the rhythm got me (Gloria Estefan is a prophet) and I danced the night away!

On Saturday I hung out with Sachin Tendulkar and MS Dhoni (well, they were on TV and I was watching them) as the Indian cricket team won the world cup. Btw, I don't think you can call it Cricket without pronouncing it properly - this is how you pronounce it CRUH-KEHT and you need a very deep Indian accent while you say it. So I watched Cruhket with Ariyana at home (after my glam mani and pedi) and got dressed for the evening. We went on to watch India win in such an outstanding manner at a dinner party my father in law was throwing in honour of the Indian cricket team. After that we dashed to a friends wedding. Sometimes I wonder how pansie assed individuals who believe so much in their self-importance make up our society - but this is the reason I go out - to observe and giggle in a 'dark corner'. But that is a story for another day. I was thoroughly entertained by a group that go by the name Dhol Ecstacy - I am so using them for my next show! I loved it.
Don't get me wrong, we did have good company and we did the 'hellos and air kisses' to the necessary but we had to dash. In the car again and off to the party that would end the evening.

My gal pal Barbra Minishi knows how to throw a party - it was a Moroccan theme and there was chocolate cake, what more could I ask for? Hawa, the film maker and my good friend was there. I was introduced to her partner (we were being PC - we meant to say her LOVER). I met Emmanuel Jambo who is one of the top photogs in town. Connie - fashion stylist to the stars (I told you, this blog is SOOO about name dropping) tells me she is back from Milan and now here to stay. We arranged a coffee date. I was asked about 'my son' and when I corrected the person she got mighty defensive. I don't mind, you think I had a boy - its cool, it doesn't change the fact that I had a girl! Interesting.
All in all it was a meeting of fab people and Raj and I had to call it a night. It was raining and we were pooped!

We woke up late on Sunday and hung out with our favorite person in the world. Then it was off again - launches, parties, etc. My best bit was meeting a politician and seriously discussing my step into politics. Aha, but that is for another blog and another day!

Basically we made out that life is incredible and it is made up of all sorts and therefore there are never any dull moments. I know I need to make up to my doggies as they are sulking with me this morning. I suppose I will have to pamper and spoil and treat them to a couple of 'pawdicures'.
Another week begins and I am tres excited to see what this one will bring, I am sure it will be super fabulous!!

Ps. Congratulations to my cuz who got engaged over the weekend - I wish her a fab time in planning what I know will be a fab wedding!!

Shoe Blues!!!

It is hard to keep a blog rolling (no pun intended), especially if you feel that you are just using this as an avenue to vent. To be honest, that is what I do. I use this space on the world wide web as my 'therapy'. I release the little niggly thingie majigis that get to me and/or I write stuff about what inspires or amuses me.
I am surprised that you read. Not surprised, more like grateful. I am intrigued that my 'nonsense' actually captures your attention. But you challenge me to come up with creative content week on week. Plus, it gets my otherwise lazy ass to stop shopping online and do other stuff on the net.

This weekend I went out to dinner with some great people. I like good company and good wine. So during dinner of course the blog came up and I was asked about how I come up with content for the blog. To be honest, I don't pre-plan it. I just sit down and write.
So this is how the night went - meet for drinks, have dinner and go for more drinks. I am so not a drinker. I cannot hold my drink and after a glass of wine I get a buzz. Which is why it totally surprised me that I had may be a total of 8 glasses of wine!

Of course I played it cool, not showing my very posh friends that the wine had gotten to me. I tried to keep the conversation 'intelligent' but for some strange reason, I vaguely remember talking about Megamind - the animated movie and how he says the word 'revange' in the movie. I am trying not to replay it in my mind too much - I wonder how loud I was. Anyway, the point is, I thought I was very funny!
My friends, being the cool people they are, never let on that they thought I was making a complete ass out of myself. Raj, who had a drink or two, says I was very well behaved.. until..

I have no idea what happened to me once we ended the evening and I got into the car. I don't remember having a conversation with Raj - but he tells me I made three phone calls. I have always said, never drink and dial. From the minute I sat in the car the night seemed to have ended in my mind. But, I am told, it went on.
I misplaced my very expensive shoes. Don't ask me how. Short of throwing them out of the moving car, I cannot even recall taking them off.

Raj tells me I rushed inside the house and when he got upstairs he saw me chilling in my doggies basket. Oh dear! I did, however, find time (and energy) to take my make up off. Why I was in her basket I have no idea. I then got into bed and started bbming someone. Who? I don't know. What did I say? Your guess is as good as mine! The next morning I was up at 7 and in denial that I had a hangover. 'It never happens with expensive wine' I told myself. Raj and I were supposed to attend a wedding. I rushed over to see my baby who was staying at mums and then came back home, all the time thinking did well and avoided a hangie.
But then at 11am it struck and oh boy did I suffer!!

Raj had to force me out of bed so that I could doll myself up and pretend not to feel ill. It all worked out. Truth is, the older you get, the harder it is for you to get over a hangover, Jay Leno said so on his show. Getting into bed last night was amazing when my head touched my pillow - I was just about to fall off into deep sleep until it dawned on me - MY SHOES!!!!

I know I will find them - I mean seriously, where could the go? But while we are apart, I dedicate this blog to them - oh how I miss you guys..I feel so naked without you - well my feet do. When I said shoe - I didn't mean shoo..come back to me.. :)

Oh, you like my merc? Here are the keys, enjoy...

I watched a film the other day, it had nothing to do with anything, but after the movie I really missed my dad. I don't know what triggered it, but I thought of him with tears in my eyes after a long time.

When I was younger things were very different, the world was not as money minded as it is today. You may have had money, but you would never show it off. Today, it is all about what you have in terms of a car, where you live (do you own or rent), what phone you use, what jewelry you wear, what designer brands you wear and where you holiday. God forbid you don't 'holiday'!! Madonna was some sort of prophet when she sang material world - 20 years too early.
You know, my father was a very wealthy man! Lord help me, the dude was loaded!! When we moved out of our house that we lived in for 28 years - we came across his bank statements from the 70's - the dude had a million dollars in his accounts. A million dollars at that time?  The dude was on point, he was shrewd and he had foresight. I still try and emulate him in any which way I can, but he left HUGE shoes to fill! So what happened? Well, in a nutshell, mum was not business savvy - she trusted people and had such a giving heart - so she gave. She bailed people out of jail and put our house down as security - the money was never paid back, we lost our house. She gave people millions of dollars to start up businesses for their children or themselves and when she went through a hard time those same people turned to her and said 'what money?'

I don't care. Sure, it would be great to be living large on my fathers money (which is what lots of people do) but I always say those millions were not for me. My father worked hard - he took care of his family  and his extended families and you know what, I say hats off to him. He probably did not know he would die so young, he had plans and he did look out for us. Definitely, my brothers and I were trust fund babies, but again - we 'trusted', we were used, misused and spat out! Too bad. If you know me, I do not play victim!

What pisses me off though is the people who stood by our sides when times were awesome. They were in our lives and constantly in our faces, are the same people who walk away when they see us today. My father housed some people, those people did not even make it to come and see my daughter (you know, too much traffic now-a-days!). My father educated some families and well, lets just say that they are kind of busy to remember. I don't mind, you have a short memory - it comes with old agel! But sometimes, some people make you wonder - I remember meeting one of my dads 'very good friends' at Westgate and he stopped me to tell me what a big hearted man dad was. 'You know, he gave me a mercedes...' he rambled on. He gave you a mercedes????? And your brother was the same lawyer who was suing me in court??????? Jeez louise!!! Where the F do people get off?

I just thought I would share. I think it goes a long way to have a big heart. I always go on and on about karma, but it is a fact - you do good and good will come your way - you forget, then you, sadly, will be forgotten. A friend of mine who lives in LA was telling me about leaving a legacy. I believe that is what papa did. He left a legacy that almost 30 years after his demise, he is still remembered.

But if you take advice from blogs, just remember to remember.

News? or 'Olds'?

Here's me enjoying a nice hot morning with Ariyana in the garden and I hear my phone ring. By the time I get to it I have obviously missed the call. I look at the caller ID and see that my gal pal, Easy Fm radio presenter, Angela Angwenyi called me. If there is anything I love it is chatting to Angela. Angela is a great person, she doesn't mince her words, she gets right to the point and she is very well spoken. I have worked with Angela in the past and she is very upfront - if she likes it she tells you, if she doesn't - she does not waste time bitching about it behind your back - she tells you. So I hurriedly called her back thinking that we were going to do some great work together.

Angela being Angela answered the phone and said 'Hi Pinky, it's Angela Angwenyi' and I said 'I know!' - the last time she called, I hadn't saved her number. It didn't offend her that I tried to make up a crappy excuse as to why I didn't have her number on my now old, then new phone.
Anyway, Angela invited me onto her show that she hosts with Edward Kwach every weekday on Easy FM. It is a prime show - the evening show. I have seen loads of advertising for the same on Facebook - great marketing! I couldn't go in on the same day as my brother was due back from South Africa and I had to pick him up, so we agreed that I go in today.

The thing about 21 questions is that they narrow down people who they have researched that their listeners want to know more about. Angela explained that the questions are not your normal questions, they are fun, they are different and they are slightly edgy. Why not? I love silly banter!
This afternoon I checked into the Nation Building and as I opened the studio door, I felt like I had opened the door to the past. I saw people that I have worked with, that I knew from radio days, that I worked for. It was amazing. The thing is, we go a long way back - more than 12 years. Where has time gone?

Anyway, we get into the 21 questions and they shot all sorts of questions at me. From where I do my hair (what happened to topical questions like 'Pinky, what do you think of the situation in Lybia?') to how I got my nickname to if I found breastfeeding erotic! It was silly, it was fun, it was interesting to be interviewed in a unique manner. I got bored with one question! If you listened to the interview you will know which one. I thought radio stations are meant to be current - how does it matter about what was talked about 7 odd years ago.
Ah well..like they said - asking the questions that no one else dare ask!

I must say, it was so good seeing Kwach and Angela and the entire team. And before anyone starts any rumours - nope, I was not there 'searching for a job' and even though I spent time in the office of the head of radio, John Wilkins, it was only because he was the person who trained me to be on radio and it had been ages since I saw him and we were chatting about the good old days! Yes, Kwach held my hand as he escorted me to Johns office and to the elevator but NO, we are not having a thing! And yes, I met Smriti, NTV anchor and my future cousin-in-law and nope the press do not just write about her because she is dating my cousin and yes, I gave Robert the biggest hug ever because I think he is the most fun on TV!

As I type this I can hear how they have cut and edited the promo - media! But you can never take yourself too seriously in this business, you just gotta go with it and enjoy.
Easy FM 21 questions, make sure you listen in!

Sing loud, Sing proud..

I just happen to come accross this today on Facebook. Tomorrow at 1pm we have been asked to unite in the national anthem and sing it wherever we are. Here is what I got from the website http://www.28feb.co.ke/

We are extremely proud to be Kenyan!
We are proud of our beautiful country!
We are proud of our diversity cultures and traditions!
We are proud of our heroes!
We are proud of our high achievers!
We are proud of being hustlers!
We are proud of our hoods!
We are proud of our tribes and twengs!
We are proud of our kanges and our mats!
We are proud of our artists and musicians!
We are proud of our industries and farms!
We are proud of our sports teams!
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, wherever you are, at work, in the supermarket, in traffic, in school, on campus, in hospitals, in churches, in mosques, in temples, in synagogues, on sports pitches, in court, on your farm, at police stations, at armed forces barracks, in matatus, in buses, on the beach, in the game parks, at the airport, in parliament, in State House, in your homes ..
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, we stand
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, we unite
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, we shall speak in one voice.
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, let’s sing our beautiful and powerful National Anthem, all three verses.
On the 28th February 2011 the world will watch as Kenyans stand UNITED;
1pm, 1 nation, 1 people, 1 anthem, united in 1 prayer for 1 Kenya
We are Kenya!

Here is the national anthem in Kiswahili and in English

Ee Mungu nguvu yetu Ilete baraka kwetu Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi Natukae na undugu Amani na uhuru Raha tupate na ustawi. Amkeni ndugu zetu Tufanye sote bidii Nasi tujitoe kwa nguvu Nchi yetu ya Kenya Tunayoipenda Tuwe tayari kuilinda. Natujenge taifa letu Ee, ndio wajibu wetu Kenya istahili heshima Tuungane mikono Pamoja kazini Kila siku tuwe na shukrani.

O God of all creation Bless this our land and nation Justice be our shield and defender May we dwell in unity Peace and liberty Plenty be found within our borders. Let one and all arise With hearts both strong and true Service be our earnest endeavour And our homeland of Kenya Heritage of splendour Firm may we stand to defend. Let all with one accord In common bond united Build this our nation together And the glory of Kenya The fruit of our labour Fill every heart with thanksgiving.

I say sing it! Let's generate some positive energy for our nation..let's unite...

B.I.T.C.H

As you know I am a strong believer in the law of attraction. I know that we attract all experiences, people and circumstances into our lives. Mind you, having said that, I have no idea how to use this 'power' for my benefit as I am constantly asking myself 'WTF did I do to attract THAT into my life?'

Ever since I was younger I had an issue with girls. The women in my life have always let me down. I generalise - sorry! There are a handful of women who I can swear upon, they will always be there for me and they are constant - one of which, of course, is my mama.
Did you ever watch FRIENDS? I am still so hooked on it - I find myself always going back to the boxsets and watching them over because they were fun. Anyway, do remember the episode where Rachel meets Ross' tall paleontologist friend? I forget her name..Ah well, somehow it comes up that the tall chick doesn't like Rachel and Rachel says 'It's OK, girls tend not to like me'? Well, that, my bloggies, is the story of my FRIGGIN life!

I was bullied in school - it was a year before my O levels when the girls in my class turned on me. I have no idea why, but it was horrid. I ended up dropping out of school and sitting my O levels privately just so I did not have to go through the torture of being teased and made fun of. One girl who made fun of me stamped her foot on the ground and shouted 'I am stepping on your fathers soul'. My father died when I was 6. This happened when I was around 13. It was not fun, to say the least. Kids are mean sometimes.

But this teasing and bullying seemed to continue through out my life not in the school yard manner, but in different ways. I wonder if it is because sometimes I let people into my life and trust them 100 per cent and open up to them and perhaps am to naive. One thing I have learnt is that not everyone wants to see your happiness and the more you succeed, the more people enjoy it when there are times you are not succeeding so much. Some people even like to rub it in your face a little.
In my life, the saying 'with friends like these, who needs enemies?' applies. Like I said, not all my friends are nasty cows, but I am learning to differentiate the good ones from the ones who are there only when times are good.

But I am so not going to play victim here. Like I said before, it is all about the law of attraction. I am not writing this so that I can get any sympathy. No way! This is just an avenue for me to ask, and I have to ask it again "WTF did I do to attract THAT into my life?'. Don't get me wrong, it is not always bad - but 20 per cent of the bad stuff is what I need to STOP attracting.

I believe in the law of reflection - if you keep seeing something in those around you, it means that there is something about them in you - especially what it is that bothers you about them. So if you are bugged by people always cribbing about money - there is something in you that cribs about money. I am surrounded (at times) by bitches..this can only mean one thing, I am a bitch.

I know that hurting people hurt people - so if the women in my life enjoy hurting me, it is only because they have issues in their lives. It is not anything I am going to take personally at all! But I have to keep my karmic record pure and positive - that is the only way I will only attract GREAT stuff in my life - including fantastic people. The bitch in me can take a step back, I will only invite her in if she is desperately needed! Being nice does not necessarily mean you are being foolish, does it? But how much of a nice guy does one have to be? I remember being nice only got me bullied and teased. I have to protect myself to some extent and if this calls for being a bit of a bitch from time to time to ward off the bad, then so be it! It is all about balance.

PS Have a Happy Valentines Day!