Because what we give out we get back..

It is sad to wake up to an unsafe Kenya.
It has only been 2 weeks since we lost a top business man in a robbery, 2 nights later another man was shot in a compound by 5 thugs at 2am. These are just stories we have heard about, am sure there has been much more.
And then of course wake up to news of terror, killings, vast horror and massacre- it's devastating.
To scroll down my fb news feed and see pictures of elephants being killed for their ivory is heart breaking.
I am sad that this is the world we live in. That people have become so money hungry and greedy for power that killing is the order of the day.
Hey, it is not only in my country - it is happening everywhere!

In Hindu mythology this era is called Kalyug. I am no expert, nor am I a priest or a prophet, however - from what I understand this era is a time in the universe that is considered a dark time, where respect and morals are on the decline and the value of life is next to nothing.
They say we must go through darkness to appreciate the light. The darkest hour, it is said, comes before dawn.

I have read through my timeline on twitter and I have seen many letters to the president even to his wife in regards to the poaching crisis.
Yep, we can all sit down and pen our thoughts. We can all plead to the government but the epiphany I had a long time ago that keeps coming back to me is that until we change as people, things do not change. Mahatma Gandhi said 'Be the change you want to see in the world..'

I keep saying it - I almost sound predictable - what you give out your receive. What, as a nation, are we giving out? Where are our thoughts? Are we money hungry? If someone came to you and said here is 1 million shillings for you to look the other way as they leave a bag in this matatu - would you take it?
Are we giving out hate as a people? A person got a raise in the office - you bitch behind that persons back until you and your colleagues are blue in the face. A woman on TV looks stunning, you loathe her until you write (anonymously) on a blog about how she slept with all her college mates way back when she wanted to be someone. You have a good giggle about it, the story goes viral and you do not care if this person gets hurt or embarrassed.
Your neighbor gets his items auctioned, you watch from your window with glee thinking, serves him right - why did he think he could afford that new 32 inch TV anyway!
What are we giving out as employers? As partners? As parents?
As a driver on the road some moron who probably did not even see you blocks your way to pass. You cruse him, hoot and call him all sorts of horrible names. He retaliates, you get into a war of words.
On social media you vent, because you can. You bitch about the traffic, the government, the asshole husband who left you with bills to pay.

Stop - think.
What are we giving out?
Bad energy will attract bad experiences. It is that simple.

Yes so you have a blog and you wish to share your thoughts. By all means go right ahead.
Yes you are on FB and Twitter and you want to say something about something.. Ok, sure.
Think - how many people will read this? How will you make them feel?
Same thing with our media. What are they dishing out to us, day in, day out?
Feelings = Energy
Energy = Experiences

Yes, the government... blah blah.. Yes Al Shabab blah blah --- yes, the opposition... yes, tribalism...yes, poaching... YES WE ARE ANGRY!!!! But because we are pissed off collectively as a country we are bringing it upon us to have negative things happen to us.

What? Blame yourself? Abso-fuckin-lutely!

I take responsibility for my actions, my experiences. If I have had some shit come my way - I evaluate internally and ask myself.. what did I do to attract this? The answer comes and as hard as it is, I change my ways.
We cannot change circumstances, we can change our ways - ourselves. That is all we are in control of.

It is a sad state of affairs. But change can only occur when things get tough. Before we were plodding along happily. This is our wake up call!
I wish I could stop the poaching, but people are doing things to try and raise awareness and stop it - instead of bitching and moaning about it - my contribution will be to help these people in which ever way I can - because I am passionate about animals.. they have as much right as we do to be here.
If I can do something to spread the peace - I will do it, or rather, this is my attempt.

It may look to you as esoteric BS, may be even spiritual garbage - but what harm will it do to you today that you didn't bitch about someone or spew your hate on FB. What would happen if you spread some goodness?

We all have our theories but unless you have a degree in political science why don't you STFU about it and just focus on your life and your hustle. Don't spread hate. Don't spread anger.

Oh yeah, it may be a bit boring to have a world of social media that is all flowery and what would happen to hell if we were just all a little nicer to each other? But it starts with you and I - that my friend, is a fact - Kenya dig it?

For future generations..



 

The Family Tree..

I saw my family tree a few months ago.. well, it may as well be anyone's family tree as no one in my direct family were in it! SMDH

So you know the story - big family, loads of tension - shit happened - and since we were born we have never been acknowledged. I mean, to ignore us when you have published a book on Ghelani's and act as if we do not exist does not make us go away.
Does it stop my blood from running? Does it change the fact that I am my fathers daughter? Does it make me doubt who I am? Nope.

But it got me thinking about family. They say you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family. It is a sad state of affairs though that families can go against one another in an instant. How come blood is thicker than water, yet blood are the first to rejoice (albeit quietly) when you have a downfall?
You see it all over the place - brothers fall out when they have made their millions, or some scenario (more often than not it is about money) never to speak to one another again. Their kids refuse to talk to one another yet when they were younger they could not do anything without one another.

Where is it that there is real unity? When there is good upbringing. When there is no preference over children as they are growing up. When the respect shown to the family is not a façade and instead instilled. When no person feels that they are lacking or will be left behind because they know that their siblings would do anything for them and they have 100 per cent trust in them.
When does the trouble start? When weak individuals start buying into hearsay, gossip and the like. When there is no communication.

I have to say that family are our best teachers, but as a wife and mother - my view has shifted. I believe that it is upon me to ensure that my family are a unit irrespective of what happens. That if my husband has a close relationship with his brother, I am no one to try and stop that or break it. That if my daughter heard something malicious being said about her family she would have the courage to confront us and know that she would be given the truth as an explanation.

We can change our children if we change our ways. We can stop humans from being nasty and bitter because the next generation lie in our hands to mold. We can change people from hurting others, even their own if we teach our children prayer, respect, tolerance and to be good.  Then family would not only be those we know by blood but everyone we meet would be part of one large family tree.

Think about it - think pink

Pinky



 

Know your circle..

Just as I was about to begin typing this I got a call from someone who reviewed my blog in the newspaper today! Goodness.. the pressure is really on when the newspaper reviews a blog that you think no one reads! Also she called be inconsistent.. trust me, I have been called far worse in the papers, so this was not really a diss.. but in fact the truth - which I said in my last blog that I would not be anymore!

Anyway, I wanted to blog about the circle today.. you know.. the circle of people that you choose to surround yourself with. There are a lot of memes with quotes on 'know your circle' or 'keep your circle small' etc - it is true - you need to know your circle and as one meme says, and I quote (we have come a long way since quoting Shakespeare, right?) "Keep your circle small, the less friends you have, the less bullshit you deal with.."

Fact is that people are very good at pretending on your face. Fair enough, I am not here to judge no one! But if you are really real with yourself and accept that not everyone likes you and that not everyone matters - then you can be far happier in your life.
I used to assume that everyone liked me. It took a lot to find out that this was not always the case. It hurt when I heard that people I took into confidence had betrayed my confidence and bitched about me, even used what I said against me.

But it made me the person I am today. I shrug my shoulders at it and put it down to experience. Right now I have surrounded myself by fierce and fabulous people! At work I am surrounded by strong minded and creative people who are fun to be around and are ready to work and very good at what they do. I am inspired.
In my family I am surrounded by people who care less for the opinions of others and give me unconditional love as I do them. I am loved.
With my friends I am surrounded by women who are brave, feisty, fashionable, courageous and all around funky. They are confident and uplift each other - they have no time to bitch about anyone because they are too busy loving their lives. Most of them are mothers and they are bringing up their children with the same values and standards. They balance it all - looking good, doing good and being good - and I love that about them. I am humbled.

Bottom line is - if their is crap in your life - you do not need to hesitate to flush it away.. that is why the flush was invented! I may be called big headed, a snob, a bitch - whatevs, fact is I am now very particular about who I surround myself with. I make absolutely no apologies for this.

My advice to you is to do the same.. know your circle, be loyal to it and be choosy about who you associate with. Envelop yourself in good energy - always!

Have a fab weekend.

Think Pink
Pinky
x

Hush..

My husband was out and about the other day and he met someone who told him 'please tell your wife to not stop blogging..' so he called me and he relayed the message.
I couldn't believe it that you actually read this stuff!
Thank you!

Sometimes when I blog I feel like I am on radio again, that I am able to just write stuff and you are like an old friend who just gets it and I can say mostly anything to! Anyway, may be it is just the one person who reads my blog or perhaps my husband just felt sorry for me that day and he decided to give my ego a boost, who knows.. whatever the case.. I am on a mission to share (my nonsense)..

Goodness, so much has happened since I last blogged. I got conned by a well known event planner who I have been holding myself back from naming and shaming on twitter but felt like I did not want to stoop so low.. He still has not paid me for something I did almost 6 months ago! I mean come on!
I got older and more confident! I can use the F word far more easier these days because I really care for no ones opinion. Although my mother caught me out the other day and she said to me 'a lady does not use such language'. Felt embarrassed because you know, a mother is a mother and she should really never correct you for using foul language past the age of 18 - as in you think one would learn by then. However, I checked myself and confirmed I am a lady..all the bits on me scream lady (albeit slightly wobbly lady) so I am back to using the F word in all its glory where and when I can. Just not in front of Ariyana.

By the way Ariyana is now a little lady. She tells me not to be mean to her and tells me not to point my finger at her (goodness what sort of a mother am I??) and she really humbles me! But I think she is so cool to be so strong headed. I never want her to change that about herself. Have an opinion little girl, speak your mind! Of course she must show respect where it is due but use of the F word is on the table (after she hits 40.. no 45.. ok 55).

I have decided to be a youtuber. Oh yes, I am going to be one of those. After being shafted several times by people who wanted to do TV with me, I sat back and thought that we live in the digital era. All one needs to do is record and upload (that is if you are an amateur, like me..) so that is what I am going to do. Me, My Iphone and absolutely no editing... This is going to be fun. If it picks up I will invest in the equipment to make it look slick.. if not, I will deny any association with it claiming my evil twin tied me up and went on to make videos pretending to be me! (Always good to have a plan!)
Anyway, that is my plug.. I have no idea how it works.. but look for me on youtube.. and like and share.

I am also keen on Instagram (follow me PINKYGHELANI).. ever since I discovered it I realized that it is a clever way to express yourself - way better than facebook. After all, a picture is worth more than a thousand words (especially if it has more than a thousand words on it - you know with all the text you can down load as cool pics..). Technology, keep up or have a life I say!

Anyway, I will blog more - promise! The hush is no more..

Think Pink good people
Pinky

 

Let the victory prevail

For those of you who know me, I am a die hard, ardent fan of an Indian actor called Salman Khan. You can say that I have been crushing on him since I was at the tender age of 13. I have grown up watching him in Hindi films. I have to say there are times where I have had moments when I tilt my head and wonder what his fashion choices were about; he has had his moments where he has paired multi coloured flowery buttoned shirts with bizarre looking trousers (that can also be from all shades of the rainbow), I still heart him senseless!
He made all his female fans swoon at the sight of his six pack and a movie without him taking his shirt off became a waste of a film. He is the trail blazer in terms of showing off the six pack in front of the camera. He made it a trend to have a good body - not only for men, but women too!

As with the fate of fame, he had his fair share of bad publicity. He made a few bad decisions that cost him. He made some bad choices in films that dented his career. He suddenly was referred to as the 'bad boy of Bollywood'. There was a time when snide remarks were made about him, when anything that put him in bad light was reported, when it was just a given that controversy and failure would go side by side with is name. He shied away from the media. Then there was a stillness.
The story of the underdog is a fascinating one, especially when he dusts himself off, gets up and suddenly goes from strength to strength.

His fans continued to love him, to back him up, to cheer him on despite his downfalls and despite his withdrawal from the scene. There was a successful TV show, then a launch of a charitable trust, then a few movies that were hits and misses. Most importantly what seemed to shine brighter than ever for him was his amazing power to do good.
He launched his trust called Being Human, he sold merchandise that was supposed to raise monies for his charity. Much to his dismay and lack of foresight, there was fake merchandise all over the place. So he took a step back and re-strategized.

After that he produced one hit film after the other. Suddenly he was raking in huge amounts of money at the box office, for endorsements, for appearances and boom.. Salman Khan could do no wrong. His critics stopped criticizing, his haters stopped hating and his destiny changed.
Through all of this, he did not bat an eyelid and did not let the success get to him, instead he focused on doing good deeds through Being Human which he re-launched in a major way.

In 2013 he made a few waves - a TV show that saw him giving his honest opinion as a host garnered him some backlash which he took in his stride. His long-term girlfriend who was now a successful actress left him for a younger actor. He shrugged his shoulders and did what he does best - he moved on and did not let any of it affect him.
He didn't release a movie last year but there was talk about how his film, that was released this January, was going to set the tone for other Bollywood flicks in terms of sales, ratings, etc.

Marketing of the movie was creative and inspiring. The film is about paying it forward - making a change, taking things into your own hands in your own world and doing what you can to make this world a better place. The movie is titled 'Jai Ho' which is Hindi for let the victory prevail.

Critics have slammed this movie for not bringing in the big money that it 'should have'. They have said that this movie is not up to par. It is a farce. The critics have done their jobs and criticized it to the hilt!
As a fan of Salman Khan I have one thing to say to the people who do not like the movie - STFU!

If a man can bring in over half of the earnings that it takes 2 actors to bring in for a film then you must give him the credit that is due. He did not need a leading lady with a top name to support his film. Instead, he helped a newcomer make her debut.
His supporting cast were all his friends that are good actors, made the film look fantastic and he put them there to be seen and spread a message.
They say that people do not like 'messages' but instead like 'entertainment' - indeed. In this world where people are so f'n selfish they don't want to be reminded to be good and to do good. I say anyone who did not like this film did not like it because they could not fathom the idea of being good and paying it forward. They would rather watch nonsense - something like chewing gum for the brain - than be given something thought provoking and a message to take home.
When I say people I mean the people who want to see Sallu fail. Those people are few and far between, unfortunately they have big mouths.

Wherever you are in the world - try and watch the movie, take the message with you and see how your world changes! It takes balls to try and change a rigid mindset but if one does not take the step then how will this world be a better place?

My friends will  read this and shake their heads, a few will nod with excitement and comment because they are as die hard as I am, my husband will probably think that this is another way for me to try and get Salman's attention (I once went outside his house and waved and jumped at his building in the hope he would see me..stalk much?!) and my one cousin who is an actual movie critic will probably not reach here as he would have stopped reading the minute I gave Sallu so much praise - although he did say that 'critics hate the film, but so what'? It is true, so what?

Bottom line is - Salman Khan is a good guy with a powerful medium and a powerful voice doing what he can to change the way we think and how we behave toward one another. What are you doing?