What is a Wat?

So there I was, parked at little India aka Diamond Plaza in Parklands and about to order my food - love the fact that you get car service there (so when in pyjamas and no make up and hungry, this is THE place to go) - and boom it happened, a waiter came to the car and said 'Habari Mama..' (in my head and a very bad translation: hello you old woman)

I didn't know whether to oblige the guy with the same politeness that t he approached me with or to begin balling my eyes out that it had happened - I went from dame (young lass) to Mama (old mother Hubbard) over night. Well, the fact is, I am a Mama. In fact, on my BB profile I am known as Mama Ariyana - so may be I attracted this. But jeez, I have only known  like really old women to be called mama and for as long as I so, dare I ask (gulp), does that mean I am now in that (ahem) bracket? As in, do dames look at me and think mama?

I am not in denial. I am embracing my age with grace (all 16 years of me) and since I hit my 30's I value a lot more (and also realize that I love my family more - especially an aunty - am sure you have heard of her anti wrinkle). I am doing my best to keep age at bay, because I love my youth ("haha" I hear the waiter at Diamond Plaza say). So I am in my thirties, so I am a mum and a wife and I go grocery shopping and drive a mom type car. So I am a mama per se, I still feel like I am about to hit the prime of my life. My heart does not feel as old as I am living. Sure, gone are the days where I would party until the next day (we are keeping wrinkles at bay remember, 8 hours of sleep is essential!) and my energy levels seemed to have dropped a notch, but am I really a mama?

There has to be a kinder word that we can begin to use to describe women like me. I know mama is respectful and it is an honour to be addressed as mama but I can wait until I hit 50 to be called mama. For now a 30 something diva, hustling mother, fashionista needs more of a trendy name so that when someone greets her in public she doesn't dive under a garbage can because of the shame of going from cool lala chicklet to saggy and grey maaamaa! Btw, I know the definition of mama is NOT saggy, grey or wrinkley -  this is just my definition of it in my head (I need therapy, I know) and because this is my blog I am free to write what I want.
I think we need a transition name.. hmmm... let's think....
Aha! (My aha moment, Oprah would be so proud)
WATTIAHMSo the next time a waiter comes up to me I want him to say 'habari wattiahm..' or 'what's up wattiahm'
WATTIAHM DEFINED: Woman About To Turn Into A (Hot) Mama (the H is silent)
Shorter version (so we can tweet it and not use all the characters on twitter) a WAT (What's a wat? A wat is a woman about to turn into a mama, an older yet remaining hot mama..a like the ring to it.. )

Desi Girl

Desi - slang for Indian. As I type this am watching the video for a song titled 'Desi Girl' - at its time it was a huge track and the movie it was in was also a huge success. The song is about 4 years old now and I have my own lil desi girl - Ariyana.

I had stopped blogging for a while because I couldn't think of what to blog about and to be honest I had wanted to announce my second pregnancy, but instead am writing about my third miscarriage. I know sad, questionable even - I mean three is quite a big number. But I am ok, getting over it bit by bit. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my lil angel Ariyana in my life. I am focusing on counting my blessings. I have plenty!

So 2011 has been a year of contradictions. Things were meant to happen but didn't materialize and I fell in love with being a mama. My TV show landed on the shelf and I am wondering if I should ask for payment for the shows I did do. On the upside I got cast in Changes, the MNET TV show - its a bit part, I play Gina who has a good role, I feel. In this season I am in two episodes and I shot episode 7 and had such a ball doing it.

I have no idea what 2012 has in store for us. I know I need to shed light on EPW and how a woman can handle it, otherwise why would it keep happening to me - for a reason, to be a source of inspiration and comfort. I had a fantastic opportunity that opened up for me and should come through by Jan next year, fingers crossed. What are your plans for 2012?

Just thought I would update you so you don't stop reading my blog and when I am more inspired I will write more and be more interesting, promise..
Have a good one

I wore white..

I wore white for you my lil soul, to remember our few months together
I wore white for you and as I looked up in the sky, I saw a helium balloon - the essence of your soul, floating high into the sky
I wore white for you, not intentionally though, but I knew it was for you
I wore white for you because although you were, you were not meant to be
I wore white for you because you fought hard to make your lil heart beat, but somehow it just gave up
I wore white for you because I had already picked out a name and thought of what you would wear when I would bring you home
I wore white for you because my love, as much as I didn't hold you in my arms, I held you within me
I wore white for you because...well because I am a mother...and for two months I had the pleasure to be yours..
I wore white for you, I will try not to shed a tear, it is hard though..
I will now wear colour for all that I have and be grateful for the special things, the blessings and hope one day we may meet again