Q n A

No one really prepares you for parenthood. Parenting comes with questions galore. Of course, there is so much information available, you have your parents, your in-laws, your aunts and sisters, doctors to ask, but nothing gives you the answers until you go through the experience.
 
Question: How do you feel when your baby/child hurts him/herself?
I was BBMing a friend of mine, Aditi, who was blessed with twins two years ago - a boy and a girl. Hats off to her, I have no idea how she does it, and she makes it look so easy. Anyway, her little girl had a fall and she hurt her knee. I think something like that hurts us more as parents. These are growing pains, and we know that we have gone through the same as kids with cuts, falls, scrapes and all and in retrospect it was not as bad as we made it out to be when we screamed the house down. When I look at childhood scars (that have lasted, remember the keloid skin that I have) I feel like I have lived, I call them war wounds. I also remember the casts I have been in - when I broke my left arm and my right leg - not at the same time, but in my 'youth'. Point is that it hurts when your baby is hurting.

Question: Is it normal to feel unsure?

 

Rakhee and Pinky


Rakhee, Nairobi's Gina Ford, is a childhood friend of mine with two sons. She and I may not speak daily, but she is there whenever I need her. All 5 foot nothing of her..she knows I love her really, and I have to say for her petite size, she can put the fear of God in you. When Raj and I started dating she gave him the 'look after Pinky ....or else' talk; to date the dude remembers it. Rakhee is who I call whenever I am in a panic when it comes to my little one. She has the equation down and she is super confident. With her there are no ifs and buts, she tells it like it is.
She and I are thinking of starting a blog just focusing on being a mom (btw, since when did that become the new spelling of mum?). She sent me her first article, it is super funny and if you are a parent or even thinking of becoming one, you will totally enjoy it. Watch this space for more details.


Question: Is it appropriate to always talk about your baby?

 

Suzie Wokabi of SuzieBeauty


I went for lunch with my gal pal Suzie, of SuzieBeauty, and she was blessed with adorable Maceo in February this year. We have not had a girlie lunch since we both had babies. Sure, we have hung out, but not like we used to. It was her birthday and we decided on pink wine and Japanese cuisine. All we spoke about was what time our kids sleep, what formula to try, if a dummy is the right way to pacify a baby, and so on. Five years ago I would have found that conversation DULL!!! But I loved it, it was the perfect way to spend a lunch, talking about our bundles of joy as opposed to gossiping about who did what, where and how. I guess you have to gauge your audience and see if it is ok to talk about kids. No one wants to hear you drone on and on about your bubba, you are not the only woman to bring a child into this world.

Question: Can i talk to strangers?

The thing is, when you are pushing a pram around the mall, or sporting a bump, when you see another woman doing the same, you instantly become buddies. 'How far?' 'How old?' 'Boy or girl?' 'Sleeping all night?' 'First born?' become standard questions that you and this stranger throw back and forth at each other. It is amazing how women are able to just click when it comes to babies. The best people with all the answers are those who have gone through or are going through the same/similar experience. Granted, no two babies are the same, but it is always best to get to hear other mothers speak about what they have gone through.

Question: What constitutes for a stupid question?

There are some women who love to ask 'Does she cry?' These women seem frustrated in someway or another. There are a very select few and if you are a mum, you know who I am talking about because at one point or another you have encountered these women. Of course she cries, she is an infant, which infant is able to communicate with you otherwise? Why doesn't anyone ask 'Does she laugh?' because she does, and she coos and gurgles and makes the most adorable noises. If, when they ask 'does she cry' , they are trying to find out if she keeps me up all night, I have no idea how it makes a difference, as I am quite sure they are not going to run to my home at 3am to pacify my baby. Should I ask them?

Question: Can you tell that I am faking my smile?

Lastly, when you meet me on the street and I do not have Ariyana with me, please do not ask me who she looks like. It takes 6 months for their features to develop and I cannot say who she looks like because when I see her, I see Ariyana. Aha! There you go, she looks like Ariyana. When you do see me with her and you have a good look, don't pat my shoulder and say 'am sorry, but she looks like her father', because yes, as much as I carried her for 40 weeks, there is no rule book that says she needs to look like me and it is a good thing she looks like her father, not my Chinese neighbour, after all, Raj did also play a part in bringing her into this world.

No one really prepares you for parenthood, but once you are in it, be prepared to ask questions and answer plenty!!