DIVAlicious

I am a lover of fashion and love it when fashion comes to town.

As much as I love to travel, it is hard for me with the 2 kids to go off on shopping sprees. And even when I do travel getting as much shopping in as possible is a bit of a task as at most times designer labels are not under one roof and it takes time to get from one place to another.

So I have to say a big thank you to Vanitaa Bhatia - the brain behind DIVAlicious. She had a simple idea of gathering the crème de la crème exhibitors for clothing and accessories, home decor & more by getting brands across the globe. The concept was very simple - something for everyone!  DIVAlicious launched on 23rd April, 2011 and has since become an established brand outside of Dubai!

The DIVAlicious theme for every event is - be different! It’s not just another exhibition but  aims to be a on a grand scale but will yet give the exhibitors full involvement & shoppers a pleasant & comfortable shopping experience. The exhibitors will feel & be part of the grand family & shoppers will be able to purchase innovative products at realistic values.
The event is planned to appear thrice in a year – April/ May, Sept /Oct & Dec.  DIVAlicious has become known to all - sponsors, exhibitors, shoppers & designers can be a part of every event.
 
This weekend we will see a beautiful mix of local and international designers as they come together for a unique experience with shopping and shows combined. The venue is the plus Villa Rose Kempinski and the dates are Friday at Saturday.
Fashion shows will be happening every half hour and if you were a true diva, you know you are blocking the two days off just for this.

I am giving you a chance to win as well - so look out for my Instagram/Facebook/Twitter posts as there is a lot for grabs. You can also get an update on designers and show timings.
(@pinkyghelani)

See you over the weekend, Diva!
Pinky

Focus

On Saturday I had a revelation.
I keep having these and then some how or the other I forget about them.

A friend of mine called me on Friday night. She said that she knows I am a friend of the KSPCA and there were 2 dogs on Peponi Road - one had been hit and killed by a speeding car, and its partner, never left its side. She said she saw them the day before and had been feeding the one that survived but they needed help and if I could speak to the KSPCA.

I drove past the dogs on Saturday morning and it moved my soul and I was almost in tears when I saw. One dog, lifeless, the other by its side, looking around, refusing to leave its friend despite them both being so close to the road and close to danger.
I had already spoken to the KSPCA and they were on their way.

Again, as I was driving on Saturday through a leafy suburb, I noticed a boy, may be in his twenties, on a wheelchair. He was holding a ball but looking sad, distraught and not all there. There was a man with him, obviously his caretaker. He was sitting - hand on his forehead - looking as though he has lived this day before and was totally bored of it.

I was driving from a baby shower that I planned and was on my way  to memorial prayers of my friends father. It had been ten years since his passing. Look at the circle of life - I was literally passing it by on Saturday. From the dogs to this young man in a wheelchair to the celebration of a life to the celebration of a life to come. I am glad it was a long drive back and forth and finally a long, silent drive back home that allowed me to reflect on the day.

We dwell so much on the shit that does not matter that we forget about the things that do matter. How much time do we spend analyzing other peoples lives on facebook or instagram? Ok, may be we do not analyze, but we stalk. We have a look and dare I say it - we judge.
But put yourself in the life of the dog whose friends life was taken away, probably in front of him/her and because of your loyalty you sat by this once full of energy body and tried to understand what was going on. You braved freezing cold nights just in case your friend woke up.
Put yourself in the shoes of a young man in a wheelchair whose parents have been told that your son will never walk again - I am just assuming. Or put yourself in the shoes of his caretaker who lives day in and day out like his life is on repeat.

Put yourself in the shoes of a young girl who lost her dad at the prime of her life. Whose children will never meet the one man who made her who she is today. Who looks back and wonders how the time just flew by. Put yourself in the shoes of a woman who is about to have her fourth baby. The newness of life beats within her and although she has been through it many times before, she is still excited and cannot wait for to hold her brand new bundle of joy.

We are allowing life to pass us by because we are just caught up in looking at how other people live their lives.
What did she wear?
She looks so fat
As if she can even afford that trip to Paris
Yeah, like that is a real designer bag
We all know that the husband is cheating, why are they pretending
She bitched about her last week and now they are taking a selfie!
That quote will show them
Why is she/what is he/ where are they/ how can they
These are all the judgements we make either aloud or in our minds. Then we zoom into the picture and scrutinize - and make more of our sarcastic comments.

The thing is, social media has allowed us to 'show off" our lives in our capacity or even in a make believe capacity. So what?! Why judge, double tap if you like and move on. Don't stop to judge, it does not define the person you are judging, it defines you.

But what is important in life? When it comes down to it - you have to count your blessings more. There is so much negativity swirling about. I feel it more than ever. I get caught up in who said what about me, sometimes I am told that this person does not like you and that person said blah blah fishcakes about you. Dude, I will be honest with you - I swim in the negativity pool from time to time. But I am conscious of this and I get out - dry myself off and dive into the sea of positivity.
Not everyone will agree with you - not everyone will understand you - but not everyone is important. We must consciously move from being negative to positive.
Our vibes affect everyone. So if you are bitching and bad mouthing then the next person will do the same and so forth. It spreads and we all pay the price, we all get caught up in it!

What I am trying to say is this - you are not whollier than thou. You make mistakes. You have haters. You have an ego. You are not perfect so stop pretending to be. Work on yourself. Leave others alone. Focus on you. Better your life. Better your habits. Better your words. Be productive. Be positive. Be grateful.
You must stay true to yourself and value this life - it is a blessing, in every sense of the way. What you have right now, where you are right now is all that matters - the rest is just background noise.

Play with a ball, sit with your friend, tell your father you love him, celebrate life- because you can and get of your phones.
Focus.
X
 

Pink Power Thoughts

It has been forever and more, a few hours and plus or minus a couple of seconds since I last blogged.
I have even forgotten what it is like to put finger to keyboard and start typing out whatever comes to mind.

So the past weekend was a historic one, right? I was so bummed that I did not use my connections to meet POTUS. I really wish I had. I could have been there along with SautiSol or Wandia doing the Lipala Dance or shaking his hand. I am so so bummed! But, it was not meant to be. I loved that the capital city was more or less at a standstill and just glued to his every move.
I have a feeling POTUS may want to retire in Kenya after he is done being POTUS. Something about how his sister introduced him and all his Kenyan references in the speeches he made me stop and go hmmm.. perhaps a selfie with him may not be so hard to get after all. We may just end up shopping at the same Nakumatt one day..

Anyway, so where have you been?! I have been busy being mama of 2. I love it, but the job requires you being on your toes at all times. Dropping (imaginary) state dinner invites and cocktail gowns in the exchange of pyjamas, warm socks, cartoons on TV for the pre schooler and dribble and drool all over my chest from the baby is my ideal way of spending a Saturday night these days. I love being mum of 2, there is nothing like it.

Speaking babies, I am planning a baby shower for my BFF who is due with her.. wait for it.. fourth, yes fourth child. I know, how awesome is she? It is hard work but some women pull it off better than others. I love party planning. All the little details that go into making a day special are so fun. There is so much to do. I think I love baby showers most because you can do such fun things to let this little being know that they are special and their due date excites not only the parents but friends and family too. Life is pretty incredible.

Incredible things happen when you vibrate and think on an incredible level. On Saturday night after I stalked SautiSol on instagram and I saw Obama dance I had a eureka moment. I am a strong believer in the law of attraction. If you want to know how you think, look at your life right now. Chances are your thought brought you to this moment right here. My thoughts brought me to a night in with kids and SautiSols thoughts brought them to making the most powerful man in the world get up and boogie to their music. A Kenyan-American thoughts made him the most powerful man in the world.

What are you thinking? Make your thoughts power thoughts. Hold on to them. If it means you want a family that love you and you love them unconditionally and that is what your power thought is, hold on to it. If you want to be acknowledged the world over and sing and dance and have the public stop you and ask you for autographs and have the president of your country invite you to his place to perform for another president, then hey - it can be a reality. If you feel you want to run the world, no matter what your race, your background or who you are - if you think power thoughts, more often than not, you will attract it.

I am constantly checking on my thoughts. I filter a lot of what I allow into my space because what you allow into your space and slowly consume you. Be careful what you think and of course what you speak  - you are creating your future.

How is it that whenever I set out to blog and just have a casual pow wow with you, I always end up lecturing you? Forgive me..
I am working on something mega exciting by the way.. this is the reason I am blogging again.. watch this space.. it will be FANTASTIC! Fruition of a power thought.

Missed you!
 

Because what we give out we get back..

It is sad to wake up to an unsafe Kenya.
It has only been 2 weeks since we lost a top business man in a robbery, 2 nights later another man was shot in a compound by 5 thugs at 2am. These are just stories we have heard about, am sure there has been much more.
And then of course wake up to news of terror, killings, vast horror and massacre- it's devastating.
To scroll down my fb news feed and see pictures of elephants being killed for their ivory is heart breaking.
I am sad that this is the world we live in. That people have become so money hungry and greedy for power that killing is the order of the day.
Hey, it is not only in my country - it is happening everywhere!

In Hindu mythology this era is called Kalyug. I am no expert, nor am I a priest or a prophet, however - from what I understand this era is a time in the universe that is considered a dark time, where respect and morals are on the decline and the value of life is next to nothing.
They say we must go through darkness to appreciate the light. The darkest hour, it is said, comes before dawn.

I have read through my timeline on twitter and I have seen many letters to the president even to his wife in regards to the poaching crisis.
Yep, we can all sit down and pen our thoughts. We can all plead to the government but the epiphany I had a long time ago that keeps coming back to me is that until we change as people, things do not change. Mahatma Gandhi said 'Be the change you want to see in the world..'

I keep saying it - I almost sound predictable - what you give out your receive. What, as a nation, are we giving out? Where are our thoughts? Are we money hungry? If someone came to you and said here is 1 million shillings for you to look the other way as they leave a bag in this matatu - would you take it?
Are we giving out hate as a people? A person got a raise in the office - you bitch behind that persons back until you and your colleagues are blue in the face. A woman on TV looks stunning, you loathe her until you write (anonymously) on a blog about how she slept with all her college mates way back when she wanted to be someone. You have a good giggle about it, the story goes viral and you do not care if this person gets hurt or embarrassed.
Your neighbor gets his items auctioned, you watch from your window with glee thinking, serves him right - why did he think he could afford that new 32 inch TV anyway!
What are we giving out as employers? As partners? As parents?
As a driver on the road some moron who probably did not even see you blocks your way to pass. You cruse him, hoot and call him all sorts of horrible names. He retaliates, you get into a war of words.
On social media you vent, because you can. You bitch about the traffic, the government, the asshole husband who left you with bills to pay.

Stop - think.
What are we giving out?
Bad energy will attract bad experiences. It is that simple.

Yes so you have a blog and you wish to share your thoughts. By all means go right ahead.
Yes you are on FB and Twitter and you want to say something about something.. Ok, sure.
Think - how many people will read this? How will you make them feel?
Same thing with our media. What are they dishing out to us, day in, day out?
Feelings = Energy
Energy = Experiences

Yes, the government... blah blah.. Yes Al Shabab blah blah --- yes, the opposition... yes, tribalism...yes, poaching... YES WE ARE ANGRY!!!! But because we are pissed off collectively as a country we are bringing it upon us to have negative things happen to us.

What? Blame yourself? Abso-fuckin-lutely!

I take responsibility for my actions, my experiences. If I have had some shit come my way - I evaluate internally and ask myself.. what did I do to attract this? The answer comes and as hard as it is, I change my ways.
We cannot change circumstances, we can change our ways - ourselves. That is all we are in control of.

It is a sad state of affairs. But change can only occur when things get tough. Before we were plodding along happily. This is our wake up call!
I wish I could stop the poaching, but people are doing things to try and raise awareness and stop it - instead of bitching and moaning about it - my contribution will be to help these people in which ever way I can - because I am passionate about animals.. they have as much right as we do to be here.
If I can do something to spread the peace - I will do it, or rather, this is my attempt.

It may look to you as esoteric BS, may be even spiritual garbage - but what harm will it do to you today that you didn't bitch about someone or spew your hate on FB. What would happen if you spread some goodness?

We all have our theories but unless you have a degree in political science why don't you STFU about it and just focus on your life and your hustle. Don't spread hate. Don't spread anger.

Oh yeah, it may be a bit boring to have a world of social media that is all flowery and what would happen to hell if we were just all a little nicer to each other? But it starts with you and I - that my friend, is a fact - Kenya dig it?

For future generations..



 

The Family Tree..

I saw my family tree a few months ago.. well, it may as well be anyone's family tree as no one in my direct family were in it! SMDH

So you know the story - big family, loads of tension - shit happened - and since we were born we have never been acknowledged. I mean, to ignore us when you have published a book on Ghelani's and act as if we do not exist does not make us go away.
Does it stop my blood from running? Does it change the fact that I am my fathers daughter? Does it make me doubt who I am? Nope.

But it got me thinking about family. They say you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family. It is a sad state of affairs though that families can go against one another in an instant. How come blood is thicker than water, yet blood are the first to rejoice (albeit quietly) when you have a downfall?
You see it all over the place - brothers fall out when they have made their millions, or some scenario (more often than not it is about money) never to speak to one another again. Their kids refuse to talk to one another yet when they were younger they could not do anything without one another.

Where is it that there is real unity? When there is good upbringing. When there is no preference over children as they are growing up. When the respect shown to the family is not a façade and instead instilled. When no person feels that they are lacking or will be left behind because they know that their siblings would do anything for them and they have 100 per cent trust in them.
When does the trouble start? When weak individuals start buying into hearsay, gossip and the like. When there is no communication.

I have to say that family are our best teachers, but as a wife and mother - my view has shifted. I believe that it is upon me to ensure that my family are a unit irrespective of what happens. That if my husband has a close relationship with his brother, I am no one to try and stop that or break it. That if my daughter heard something malicious being said about her family she would have the courage to confront us and know that she would be given the truth as an explanation.

We can change our children if we change our ways. We can stop humans from being nasty and bitter because the next generation lie in our hands to mold. We can change people from hurting others, even their own if we teach our children prayer, respect, tolerance and to be good.  Then family would not only be those we know by blood but everyone we meet would be part of one large family tree.

Think about it - think pink

Pinky



 

Know your circle..

Just as I was about to begin typing this I got a call from someone who reviewed my blog in the newspaper today! Goodness.. the pressure is really on when the newspaper reviews a blog that you think no one reads! Also she called be inconsistent.. trust me, I have been called far worse in the papers, so this was not really a diss.. but in fact the truth - which I said in my last blog that I would not be anymore!

Anyway, I wanted to blog about the circle today.. you know.. the circle of people that you choose to surround yourself with. There are a lot of memes with quotes on 'know your circle' or 'keep your circle small' etc - it is true - you need to know your circle and as one meme says, and I quote (we have come a long way since quoting Shakespeare, right?) "Keep your circle small, the less friends you have, the less bullshit you deal with.."

Fact is that people are very good at pretending on your face. Fair enough, I am not here to judge no one! But if you are really real with yourself and accept that not everyone likes you and that not everyone matters - then you can be far happier in your life.
I used to assume that everyone liked me. It took a lot to find out that this was not always the case. It hurt when I heard that people I took into confidence had betrayed my confidence and bitched about me, even used what I said against me.

But it made me the person I am today. I shrug my shoulders at it and put it down to experience. Right now I have surrounded myself by fierce and fabulous people! At work I am surrounded by strong minded and creative people who are fun to be around and are ready to work and very good at what they do. I am inspired.
In my family I am surrounded by people who care less for the opinions of others and give me unconditional love as I do them. I am loved.
With my friends I am surrounded by women who are brave, feisty, fashionable, courageous and all around funky. They are confident and uplift each other - they have no time to bitch about anyone because they are too busy loving their lives. Most of them are mothers and they are bringing up their children with the same values and standards. They balance it all - looking good, doing good and being good - and I love that about them. I am humbled.

Bottom line is - if their is crap in your life - you do not need to hesitate to flush it away.. that is why the flush was invented! I may be called big headed, a snob, a bitch - whatevs, fact is I am now very particular about who I surround myself with. I make absolutely no apologies for this.

My advice to you is to do the same.. know your circle, be loyal to it and be choosy about who you associate with. Envelop yourself in good energy - always!

Have a fab weekend.

Think Pink
Pinky
x

Hush..

My husband was out and about the other day and he met someone who told him 'please tell your wife to not stop blogging..' so he called me and he relayed the message.
I couldn't believe it that you actually read this stuff!
Thank you!

Sometimes when I blog I feel like I am on radio again, that I am able to just write stuff and you are like an old friend who just gets it and I can say mostly anything to! Anyway, may be it is just the one person who reads my blog or perhaps my husband just felt sorry for me that day and he decided to give my ego a boost, who knows.. whatever the case.. I am on a mission to share (my nonsense)..

Goodness, so much has happened since I last blogged. I got conned by a well known event planner who I have been holding myself back from naming and shaming on twitter but felt like I did not want to stoop so low.. He still has not paid me for something I did almost 6 months ago! I mean come on!
I got older and more confident! I can use the F word far more easier these days because I really care for no ones opinion. Although my mother caught me out the other day and she said to me 'a lady does not use such language'. Felt embarrassed because you know, a mother is a mother and she should really never correct you for using foul language past the age of 18 - as in you think one would learn by then. However, I checked myself and confirmed I am a lady..all the bits on me scream lady (albeit slightly wobbly lady) so I am back to using the F word in all its glory where and when I can. Just not in front of Ariyana.

By the way Ariyana is now a little lady. She tells me not to be mean to her and tells me not to point my finger at her (goodness what sort of a mother am I??) and she really humbles me! But I think she is so cool to be so strong headed. I never want her to change that about herself. Have an opinion little girl, speak your mind! Of course she must show respect where it is due but use of the F word is on the table (after she hits 40.. no 45.. ok 55).

I have decided to be a youtuber. Oh yes, I am going to be one of those. After being shafted several times by people who wanted to do TV with me, I sat back and thought that we live in the digital era. All one needs to do is record and upload (that is if you are an amateur, like me..) so that is what I am going to do. Me, My Iphone and absolutely no editing... This is going to be fun. If it picks up I will invest in the equipment to make it look slick.. if not, I will deny any association with it claiming my evil twin tied me up and went on to make videos pretending to be me! (Always good to have a plan!)
Anyway, that is my plug.. I have no idea how it works.. but look for me on youtube.. and like and share.

I am also keen on Instagram (follow me PINKYGHELANI).. ever since I discovered it I realized that it is a clever way to express yourself - way better than facebook. After all, a picture is worth more than a thousand words (especially if it has more than a thousand words on it - you know with all the text you can down load as cool pics..). Technology, keep up or have a life I say!

Anyway, I will blog more - promise! The hush is no more..

Think Pink good people
Pinky

 

Let the victory prevail

For those of you who know me, I am a die hard, ardent fan of an Indian actor called Salman Khan. You can say that I have been crushing on him since I was at the tender age of 13. I have grown up watching him in Hindi films. I have to say there are times where I have had moments when I tilt my head and wonder what his fashion choices were about; he has had his moments where he has paired multi coloured flowery buttoned shirts with bizarre looking trousers (that can also be from all shades of the rainbow), I still heart him senseless!
He made all his female fans swoon at the sight of his six pack and a movie without him taking his shirt off became a waste of a film. He is the trail blazer in terms of showing off the six pack in front of the camera. He made it a trend to have a good body - not only for men, but women too!

As with the fate of fame, he had his fair share of bad publicity. He made a few bad decisions that cost him. He made some bad choices in films that dented his career. He suddenly was referred to as the 'bad boy of Bollywood'. There was a time when snide remarks were made about him, when anything that put him in bad light was reported, when it was just a given that controversy and failure would go side by side with is name. He shied away from the media. Then there was a stillness.
The story of the underdog is a fascinating one, especially when he dusts himself off, gets up and suddenly goes from strength to strength.

His fans continued to love him, to back him up, to cheer him on despite his downfalls and despite his withdrawal from the scene. There was a successful TV show, then a launch of a charitable trust, then a few movies that were hits and misses. Most importantly what seemed to shine brighter than ever for him was his amazing power to do good.
He launched his trust called Being Human, he sold merchandise that was supposed to raise monies for his charity. Much to his dismay and lack of foresight, there was fake merchandise all over the place. So he took a step back and re-strategized.

After that he produced one hit film after the other. Suddenly he was raking in huge amounts of money at the box office, for endorsements, for appearances and boom.. Salman Khan could do no wrong. His critics stopped criticizing, his haters stopped hating and his destiny changed.
Through all of this, he did not bat an eyelid and did not let the success get to him, instead he focused on doing good deeds through Being Human which he re-launched in a major way.

In 2013 he made a few waves - a TV show that saw him giving his honest opinion as a host garnered him some backlash which he took in his stride. His long-term girlfriend who was now a successful actress left him for a younger actor. He shrugged his shoulders and did what he does best - he moved on and did not let any of it affect him.
He didn't release a movie last year but there was talk about how his film, that was released this January, was going to set the tone for other Bollywood flicks in terms of sales, ratings, etc.

Marketing of the movie was creative and inspiring. The film is about paying it forward - making a change, taking things into your own hands in your own world and doing what you can to make this world a better place. The movie is titled 'Jai Ho' which is Hindi for let the victory prevail.

Critics have slammed this movie for not bringing in the big money that it 'should have'. They have said that this movie is not up to par. It is a farce. The critics have done their jobs and criticized it to the hilt!
As a fan of Salman Khan I have one thing to say to the people who do not like the movie - STFU!

If a man can bring in over half of the earnings that it takes 2 actors to bring in for a film then you must give him the credit that is due. He did not need a leading lady with a top name to support his film. Instead, he helped a newcomer make her debut.
His supporting cast were all his friends that are good actors, made the film look fantastic and he put them there to be seen and spread a message.
They say that people do not like 'messages' but instead like 'entertainment' - indeed. In this world where people are so f'n selfish they don't want to be reminded to be good and to do good. I say anyone who did not like this film did not like it because they could not fathom the idea of being good and paying it forward. They would rather watch nonsense - something like chewing gum for the brain - than be given something thought provoking and a message to take home.
When I say people I mean the people who want to see Sallu fail. Those people are few and far between, unfortunately they have big mouths.

Wherever you are in the world - try and watch the movie, take the message with you and see how your world changes! It takes balls to try and change a rigid mindset but if one does not take the step then how will this world be a better place?

My friends will  read this and shake their heads, a few will nod with excitement and comment because they are as die hard as I am, my husband will probably think that this is another way for me to try and get Salman's attention (I once went outside his house and waved and jumped at his building in the hope he would see me..stalk much?!) and my one cousin who is an actual movie critic will probably not reach here as he would have stopped reading the minute I gave Sallu so much praise - although he did say that 'critics hate the film, but so what'? It is true, so what?

Bottom line is - Salman Khan is a good guy with a powerful medium and a powerful voice doing what he can to change the way we think and how we behave toward one another. What are you doing?








 

Lucky Number 2013..

They say 13 is a very unlucky number - unless you, your baby, someone in your family was born on the 13th, then you probably do not believe in that theory!
This year was not the best of the years, but then again - neither was the last, or the year before that. If you look at it, things are actually getting worse!

As much as I hope for a happy new year - I would like to stop looking at the world through rose tinted glasses and actually pray for a spiritual awakening year. The reasons that so much bad is happening is because we need to look within ourselves, better ourselves and then better our world around us.

Do I sound like a broken record? I keep on harping on about the same stuff, I know. The fact is, the wars will not stop, the poverty will get worse, the hate between brothers will escalate as long as we keep doing what we are doing now. You have heard that it gets worse before it gets better right? I strongly believe this. Sorry if I paint a dim grey picture but I need to share my sentiments. For all you know, 2014 could be the year that everything suddenly changes and people are happy again and we stop being nasty and horrid to one another. Just like that, a snap of a finger, at midnight on Dec 31 2013 all of humanity will suddenly get it - we need to be good, to do good in order to have good things happen to us.

Think good thoughts because thoughts become things. How many of you have looked at someone at a party and said out loud 'oh darling, you look gorgeous' and in your head thought ' b****, what are you thinking leaving your home looking like a 2 dollar h**'?  It is not your words that bring you your reality, it is your thoughts. We can all be fake. We can say anything to please anyone, but how you feel is your vibe. Your vibe is what creates your reality. Check yourself, what are you thinking? Even as you read this?

Hey, am not saying that what I am writing here is the Gospel truth. It is just a theory. May be you have a theory that works for you. Share. I would love to know!
All am saying that if we pretend to be good, pretend to pray, pretend that we are holier than thou, then we will continue to fear the outcome of our life journey. But if we genuinely pray - not only for ourselves, but for those around you, your neighbours, your bitchy sister in law, your competitors, etc, etc - your reality changes. Why? Because you surrender to the fact that we are in this thing called life together, each with different lessons to learn, but here to help each other even if it is by being kind, thinking good thoughts about one another and just allowing people to be.

For 2014 I do wish you peace of mind, peace within your heart and lots of love. That is all I have to give as am a broke ass these holidays and besides, I don't want to give you a gift that will only rotate and land back at my doorstep next year... (oh come now, we all do that with gifts..)

Happy Holidays

Last word..

Happy Belated Birthday Kenya. I love you my nation, I wish you brightness as you go through this dark time. Fact is I did not feel like celebrating as much as we have accomplished after 50 years of independence. I miss my country being simple, but I suppose this is a price to pay for development. I just wish our leaders had foresight to look after their people first - can you imagine what sort of a celebration it would have been then?

An ode to Madiba - I will be able to tell my children that I lived in your lifetime. Thank you, you powerful soul, for being all that you were. You continue to inspire in death. I wish that we could all take a leaf out your book and just learn to forgive in order to be free.

To the rest of the  morons who tried to get under my skin this year - I forgive you! But you are still morons! (and if you feel that this statement is about you, it probably is...)

To my friends and family who love me despite my flaws - I love you, you guys totes make my life complete!!

To the Kardashians - get off my TV already!!! NKT

To the media - I am an editor for Home&Living Magazine and produce and present TV shows and events as well as compere events so you can stop referring to me as Former Radio Presenter..much appreciated.

For 2014, do not take yourself too seriously - learn to laugh at yourself- its therapeutic - plus its like jogging on the inside.





 

Be careful what you ask for...

So anyone with a voice/blog/facebook page is sharing their views on the Westgate attack.

It has taken me almost 3 weeks to get around to writing something about what happened.

The days that have passed us have gone by all too quickly and I have spent most in quiet reflection, as usual - going within to garner strength and finding a way to replace fear with faith.

I told my mum that she can build a house with the amount of bricks I am shitting on a daily basis! We laughed and then the reality of all this came back.

I am going to be honest, I am scared.
I have not walked into a mall since. Westgate was my second home and I am heart broken!
I lost friends. Friends got injured but I also heard amazing stories of the goodness of people but somewhere inside me, I feel a void.

I met Caroline Mutoko over the weekend at a birthday party and she had some choice words to share. She said that this is our country. Where in the world can we enjoy such pleasures, but what are we doing to protect it? How are we, you and I, safe guarding this land of ours?
I read something by Sunny Bindra where he said something similar, this is our nation, but for as long as we partake in little things like corruption we are responsible for the outcome. This is the outcome? A bitter pill to swallow.

You know, the day before this happened, I was at Westgate booking Starjump for my daughter's birthday. I asked the guy there to please send his staff of Westgate to the party because my daughter loves them. He laughed and said he would see what he could do because Saturdays were their busiest days. Her birthday was a week later and you know what - by the grace of God, all the Starjump staff were unharmed, except the guy I spoke to who got a bullet wound in the leg but is recovering - and they were all at Ariyana's birthday. Be careful what you ask for...

How many times did us animal lovers drive past Peponi Road and see the hawkers sell cute dogs and cats on the roadside? How many times did we say to ourselves 'ugh, this is cruel, I wish it would just stop!' I drove on a very empty Peponi Road today - and all the hawkers are nowhere to be seen. Be careful what you ask for...

I feel sick. There is an eerie quiet in my capital. Something has been taken from us. I cannot put my finger on it but as much as life has gone on - things are not normal. They probably will never be. I am sad that something as simple as going to the mall has been snatched away from me.
In 98 there was a terror attack but nothing like this. May be this one is different because I am a mama.

Anyway, I am just spreading the word of peace. But the peace starts within us. We have to be at peace within ourselves and then can we spread it. What we think, what we say all becomes a reality, evidently!

Someone tweeted me and said I am too quiet ... I am, because I don't know if what I am saying anymore is helping.
So our politicians stripped down naked and took pictures doing the nasty - I am no one to judge.
So what our security forces stole and looted - who am I to judge?
How much complaining will make me a better person? How much negativity need I spread so that my world is better? Zero!

I have resolved to be at peace within myself. I am no one to be judge and jury. If you see that I do not tweet as much it is because everything I want to say may make me sound like a preacher and I am not ready to force my philosophies down your throats.

For now all I am doing is spreading the power of prayer - I pray for my family, for you, for my nation and for peace. I am trying to be as positive as possible because now I know.. what I ask for can become my reality. I don't want to ask for anything but peace.
I refuse to be worried too much about little bullshit nonsense.. this includes how I look (sometimes) - so if you see me at the supermarket (dashing in and out) in my pyjamas without any make up, yep - that's me, former Miss Model! And if you see me using a cheap ass phone and not the latest smart phone - yes, that's me and my status symbol, because these things do not fucking matter anymore.
And yes, if you hear me using the F word from time to time, yep, that's polite, soft spoken me - all grown up and a bit pissed off but working on herself - to spread good vibes because that is all that matters!

Love and light to you and yours :D




 

Devious or delusional?

I have recently been addicted to watching devious maids.. what an interesting, well kind of, series. I tell you when I switch it on, it does give me that escape that is needed.

Speaking of devious, I have recently found myself surrounded by people who are constantly plotting and planning and going out of their way to ensure that things are not what they seem to be. For me, I have always been an open book. I think my trusting many people and being so open in the past got me in a lot of nasty incidents. I think people did not take me for the fool I was and instead thought I was super devious and very crafty that they just did not like me and found flaws and fault in me.

Now-a-days I do not trust that easily. I take caution in what I am saying lest it be used against me. Don't get me wrong though, I still call a spade a spade, however I pick my battles. If you are not important to me and you come up and obviously speak a mouthful of nonsense to me, I will shrug my shoulders and the words in my head will be 'how stupid do you think I am?' as I politely smile and nod as the verbal diarrhea ensues.
If you are important to me then you know lying to me or trying to or even wasting my time with idle gossip is not going to get you anywhere.

But do not think I do not gossip. I am a girl. I am human! But I do it with people who know what gossip is - harmless banter that makes us giggle and updates us on what is going on, but the thing is we know we need to move on after our dose, there are plenty of more things to talk about - like business, babies and shoes!

I honestly wish I had this knowledge 10 years ago. I did not realize that everyone is playing a game. People hide travel plans, wedding plans, even going to the supermarket plans - why? When I was in radio I was open and honest about the direction I wanted to head and may be told a few (100) people. I didn't realize that they would use that information to make sure I would never reach my goals. But the thing is, how much effort goes into making sure you destroy someone else. It must be exhausting!
And when do you get time for your own life?

There is a saying 'always speak the truth, it is much easier to remember..' There are the liars who just love to lie! You know you know a person like that right? Everything that comes out of their mouths is just a blatant lie and not because they have to lie, but because they love to lie. What bothers me is the web of lies that follows! How do you keep up with what you said when all you spoke was a thousand and ten lies? Do people like that have some sort of a memo pad where they keep notes of everything that they have said that is untrue? Do they also think that they are fooling us?

Bob Marley said it well when he said 'you can fool some people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time.'
Devious, its a great word, but not for me. I would still be a straight shooter, to a limit. If I don't want to tell you the truth then trust me dishing out lies to you would take way too much time, I would just smile and wave.. like the penguins of Madagascar..and mosey the hell on!

Have a fab week x

Explore..

So it has been ages and ages and ages and ages (ok you get the idea.. it's been a while) since I blogged. The biggest reason that I have not blogged is because I cannot get into dashboard from google chrome so I had to open this up in explorer to blog. I had tweeted about this problem and asked my fellow bloggers to come to my aid.. so if you can I still need the help. TIA (thanks in advance)

So, tell me all! Whatchu been up to? How you been? Give me all the goss! Dish all the dirt! Look at me asking you to talk to a computer screen, how silly...

With me, life is awesome...aside from the fact that I think we were almost car jacked last night, life is so good. I get a bit worried with the insecurity in this country it is all sorts of kray right? I just hope that our prez gets his ass into gear and beefs up the security. All this while he is putting out fires, dealing with poachers, negotiating with teachers, flying to China and dealing with floods on Thika Road! Poor guy, has a lot on his plate, but he best step up his game!

Ariyana is growing up beautifully. Her 3rd birthday is coming up; I wanted a fairy themed party, she wants a Mickey Mouse theme - I have to get over the fact that the party really isn't for me, it is for her. So I have been doing all sorts of Mickey Mouse hunting. It is fun though.
She is asking all sorts of questions, as they do, but she also comes out with very intelligent statements that leave me quite baffled at times. Kids I tell you, what a joy!
And before you ask, I am trying for the second but it just ain't happening! I am sure it will in good time, just like with Ariyana it took time. Also I have been busy with work and all sorts of great projects that have me super busy at the minute.

So, good news, I reached out to my half brother and we reconnected after 10 odd years. But this time because he is in a good space as am I, we were able to really reconnect and celebrate being 'Ghelani's'. He has so much research into the family's history - it is super intriguing to find out where I have come from.
This is a story for an entire book, forget a blog! But I have to say it is awesome to just know how much we have in common as we had the same father. Blood is indeed thicker than water!

Well, now that I am back albeit via explorer, I shall blog more and I shall blog often..

Chat soon my peeps
Pinky

Stop Gap

"You have neglected your dog..." He said
"Pardon?" I said, not quite understanding what he meant.
"You have neglected you blog..." The voice on the other side of the phone was clearer.

Aah! My blog!
How are you? Have missed you tons.

I am trying to balance it all and I will be blogging soon.

This is just a stop gap.

Give me until June and (in the words of Arnold Shwazzeneger  (spelling??)) "I'll Be Back!"

The first of 2013

Happy 2013.
Last year was crazy busy and it got so bad that I had to stop blogging. I had no time to switch on laptop, log on and type a few crazy sentences. I am sorry. For those of you (may be 1) die hard addicts, it was very mean of me to cut of the supply. I am normally a person you can depend on as well as being consistent, I deliver! So, am sorry that your fix of pink was scarce towards the end of last year, I just couldn't juggle all that was coming my way in my usual graceful way!
Also, the world was meant to have ended, so my theory was that I would never have had to write a blog apologizing!

One a serious note, I should not be complaining. I am the new editor of Home & Living magazine which is what kept me so busy. Putting a new magazine together is hectic, but man was it fun! Also I was filming for Fashion & Style - the TV show that airs on NTV. Of course, I am a mama too and  that takes first priority! So between work, my baby, the dogs, running a home, tending to husband, looking after my business, bikram yoga-ing I had to sacrifice one thing...

So, how was the end of 2012 for you? To be honest, mine was pretty crappy. There were a lot of friends who passed away and a lot of negative energy about. The world did not end, but for some it did. I will not get into details because it will depress the both of us!

Anyway, just a quick note to let you know that I am still here. I feel inclined to blog but  sometimes I get a bit lost about what to write.
I have to dash, feb issue of H&L is a calling

BOO(b) (breast scare)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I have been a supporter of the campaigns for over 12 years now. I was very sad when Mary Onyango of the Kenya Breast Health Program lost her battler earlier this year against this dreaded disease. We have had some great fun with her and Ida Odinga and other top personalities in raising awareness for this cause!

So come the beginning of the month I changed my avis on facebook and started tweeting about it, in fact @thepinkmove also gave me a gift for being their follower. But I have to be honest, I was not practicing what I was preaching.
Since I had Ariyana I stopped doing the breast exams. The day after she was delivered I noticed a painful lump in my right underarm. Of course, I had just delivered a baby and emotions were all over the place that I started crying on detecting it thinking that I am going to die and that was the end of that. How irresponsible of me because with all the campaigning I have done for breast cancer, I was more educated than to just jump to a conclusion.

I ignored the lump and the pain and it went away. A few months ago I started getting another pain. This got me a bit concerned. I started seeing signs, people all around me were getting breast cancer friends, aunts, etc. I tried to get my mind off it and switched on the TV- my channel of choice was E! and saw that Gulianna Rancic had breast cancer and got through it and my mind just kept thinking the worst.
I was just scared. I did not want to go get it checked because knowing my luck, they would find something and it would be yet another challenge I had to face!

I spoke to two very good friends of mine who then pushed me to go see a doctor. They are the reason I am blogging about this subject. So my friend sets me up an appointment with a top breast specialist (or a breacialist as I like to call him). I get to the appointment with a huge lump in my throat.
I walk in and he shakes my hand saying he is so happy to finally meet me and that he knew my dad. Wow, could this get anymore awkward?
After the routine questionaire he then tells me that he is going to examine me. Right, so my late fathers pal is going to feel the boobies. Odd? I undress and lie down, he comes along and I look to the right, blink a lot and hold my breath. He goes on with his business and I am feeling super uncomfortable for two reasons; 1. because he is my dads friend and 2. because my dads friend is going to tell me I am going to die!

After what seems like an eternity he finishes and asks me to get dressed. He tells me that my breasts are rather lumpy (ati?) but this is normal for someone my age (for the record, that would be 16) and that all is ok and I have nothing to worry about.
Wow! What a relief. I am so happy I could kiss him, but then I had enough action for the day!

Point is - early detection can save lives and truth is, as my friends told me, I was worrying about nothing. Ladies, make sure you do check and look after yourself and your girls! Support the cause and the awareness campaigns, they are for a very good reason and the noise is made so that you can stop, take 20 minutes and get your boobies felt.

RIP Mary and to all the others who fought the fight...

Stay Pink this October - maridadi.com and suziebeauty.com have worthwhile causes you can support, log on to their sites and find out how.

Pinky xxo

Justin Beiber minus the flick of the hair..

The more I blog, the more I get confused how to start my blog..
Do I start it like a letter? Dear Reader, thank you so much for coming back to read my thoughts... Or do I start is like a phone conversation? Hey! What's up? How's it going? Or I could start it like I am posting on your facebook wall; Last night was craaaay (tag here) lets do it again soon and this time we can invite (tag here) and (tag here) - of course, in a blog, this would make no sense at all!

Anyway, that was a nice ice breaker and now I do not have to waste 30 minutes on how to start my blong. Ariyana turns two on Thursday! It is so exciting for me because I do not believe where the time has gone and she is reaching this fun age and stage where she is talking and saying things that make me feel so proud because I had a part in creating that.. Being a mama is fun beans.

So let me tell you about this thing that I am addicted to - Bikram Yoga. Basically its 26 yoga postures in a hot room - now when they say hot they mean 40 degrees and up. So yes, it gets pretty intense in there to a point you want to pull your hair out just so it can take the pain of the heat away. The concept behind it is clever, but I cannot tell you what has me addicted to this. I keep talking myself out of it but before I know it, there I am - in hot pants and a tiny top - stretching and sweating and then taking a break and lying down for the rest of the lesson. Its a 90 minute class and you are drenched by the time you walk out of it, but weather you lay down or stretched your ass off, you still feel like super woman when you walk out of the class.

Other than that, I hosted Baby Banda over the weekend - it was so fun to see so many women who are preggers and looking fab. Feeling fab is far from how they were feeling, but it was a good laugh all the same.We talked about boobs and breast milk and sexual positions and ...oh ya, baby too!
Someone walked up to me and said "I love your show Pinky" and I just didn't have the heart to say that there is no show no more. May be she meant to say I loved your show.. Either way, I let my head grow. Then of course there were photos after the event, I felt like Justin Beiber - but then again, I am a Kenyan Asian Celeb (ref to blog before this if you are confused)
Remind me to blog about an email I received - this is how it started 'Dear Pinky, I am still your fan.....' Yah, I stopped reading it at that sentence.

Anyway, just thought I would connect with you, I thank you for reading my blog although Google has refused for me to make money off this. Every time I apply it says "REJECTED" as though I have committed a crime! Shame, but who cares, I do this more for the love of the fact that I can share my (was going to use a bad word here) thoughts with you and you read and comment. Appreciate it.

Have a good one and remember to be a blessing.

SULK!

The other day I had lunch with a friend of mine. It was super fun, we ate sushi and drank juice and caught up on so much that two girls can possibly talk about in the span of 2 hours! In the corner of the restaurant were a group of people that caught my eye. As I looked up I realised that I knew 80 per cent of the people sitting there. It was a large group and they were getting their sushi on!
After my friend and I parted ways I joined this group of people for a drink, because one of the hosts of this lunch insisted I do so. I obliged. The group was made up of the who is who in the law world, if you will. I loved listening to the jokes, their humor is on point and it was enjoyable to be in their company. 

Anyway, I joined them just as the main person, a friend of mine from many years ago, was making introductions as to who he was hosting for lunch. He introduced the Attorney General and PLO - the prof, amongst other notable business men and women. When it came time for my introduction, he said that I am "an Kenyan Asian celebrity who blah blah blah.." I stopped listening.

In all my years in my field as a media personality and a philanthropist and as a model, I just felt a bit shafted with that mediocre title. Who are we kidding? We live in a world where we go by titles. When at a social gathering the first question is 'What do you do?' and if you are not interesting enough the person chatting to you will move along swiftly!
I have worked years in the industry - I have presented radio shows, produced radio shows, presented and produced TV shows, written for newspapers, acted, been featured in music videos, been an editor of a magazine,written for top magazines and newspapers, done PR work for the likes of Chanel O, MTV and other top names,  been a judge at most major events, I have traveled the world and the entire Kenya meeting dignitaries as Miss India Kenya, given huge sums of monies and/or donations in kind as a philanthropist, I have produced events and kicked ass on major catwalks. I am a public speaker events locally and internationally and I have represented the voices that could not be heard on South Africa, Dubai, UK and other worldwide media and been on the cover of most if not all Kenyan magazines (hey no one else is going to write about it, I may as well....) and all I can get introduced as is 'A Kenyan Asian celeb'!

I was quite disgusted with my PR people. They have done a crap job and have been fired! Apparently I also featured in some top 100 list of the Asians in Kenya and they also downplayed my achievements.

Sorry, but this blog comes from pure ego!
That afternoon I left that group of people not feeling proud of myself at all. Yes sure, the AG knows me but  I do not want to be just known as a 'Kenyan Asian Celeb' - pardon the french - but what the f does that mean?
Excuse me while I go work on a project that will ensure I am never ever introduced or put on a list for just being pretty - I have worked my ass off to get where I am in my life. I can't say I have a particular job description at the moment, but I sure as hell know that I am far more than just a 'Kenyan Asian Celeb.'

(mumbles something that cannot be typed lest the readers of the blog lose respect for me!)

Until the next blog...arrogance has taken over and I am officially throwing a tantrum (ati Kenyan Asian Celeb...eh!)

Aren't you somebody?

I have been so inconsistent with this blog this year. I guess BAKE will not be throwing any awards my way any time soon! To be honest, I have missed sharing my thoughts and telling you about what has been going on but on the flip side I have been too busy doing a whole load of nothing!

Well, we start off with some bad news. My Father In Law passed away a month ago. That to me was heart breaking. I have seen death at different stages in my life and it always seems someone I love or my dogs or someone who is near and dear just decides that they are going to leave. No warning, no goodbyes, just gone, poof, like that!
The day my fil passed away was such a heavy day. In fact when I go back and think about the day I start to feel drained out and like I have no energy all over again. That day was eerie. It was weighty and I wish I had listened to my gut or my instinct so that somehow or the other I could have prayed for him, sent him healing, stopped it from happening. This is the thing about us human beings - we really think we are in control right? Me and my ego. As if we can stop fate?

In my life I have done plenty of soul searching. I found it hard though to answer Rajs question when he asked; where do we go when we die? I have no idea! I do have my own thoughts - my own theories, but they are mine. If I was to share them with him I would either find myself being driven to an asylum or being handed divorce papers. They are not that bizarre, but I do not think religion and science would ever agree with me! I told Raj that only he can take the spiritual journey that leads one to the answer of that question, if there is one.
I keep repeating myself though; each death occurs to teach us. To teach us that there is some finality in all that we do on this earth. We lust after things and people. We acquire, we save, we sometimes steal. We lie, we cheat, we hurt others. We laugh, we drink, we buy clothes and travel to fancy places. We marry, we make love (not always in that order), we fight, we cry, we write, we create and sometimes we destroy. But our end is all the same, and the fact is we take nothing with us. Who knows if we even take the memories.

Death is here to teach us to be nice to one another. Hang on, I am not even preaching - no waaay, because I know that in this here "I, Me, Myself" era it ain't gonna happen. I am just saying. Because when someone goes, you realize that all he or she takes with him is love - the love he/she was shown during their lifetime. Being a good human being, some say, helps you in the after life too- so really if you are a good person - even to your enemy, all your doing is helping yourself for now and for beyond.
But being good without expectation. Truth is you will be disappointed, hurt and let down if you expect others to be good just because you are.

The point I am trying to push is this; be good because you have the power to. Keep silent when you can talk crap. Stay on your path while others go astray. I read a quote today and I will it share it on my blog with you. A man looked around and he saw all the destruction on earth and he spoke to God and said 'God, why doesn't somebody do something?' and God said 'Aren't you somebody?'

The change we are looking for begins with us.

Have an awesome week. Be a blessing xo

Dear Daddy in Heaven

18th May 2012 marks 30 years since my daddy passed away.

Maya Angelou - When Great Trees Fall

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

Miss you N N G

N N G

Ever sat and wondered what life is really all about? Oh shit, here I am getting all deep and philosophical on you again and the thing is, I wonder really if my life experiences allow me to be a ‘philosopher’ of sorts. One person who has had amazing life experiences is my mother. She is genius and because she is who she is, sometimes she pisses people off. I love that about her.

Mother’s day is just around the corner and here my ode to a woman who has lived her life by her rules. Many years ago my mother walked out on her mother. My mother was 11 – her mother was recently divorced and had a new man in her life. In a nutshell he was not a nice man and when my mother talked about what had happened to her with her family and they confronted my granny, granny said ‘well I think she reads too many novels.” So my mum packed her suitcase and left for her auntie’s house- it was down the road and she walked it and she never forgave her mother. My granny, the former VOK presenter, passed on last year – my mum forgave her in her heart and let her go. 

My mother was always outspoken. True story she once approached by a photographer of Harpers Bazaar magazine to be on the cover. True story she was once mauled by a crowd in Mumbai – they mistook her for the current A list actress. True story, she has always been selfless and giving and unfortunately has suffered the consequences of being a soft hearted woman.

My mother is a second wife. My father found a way to marry her when his first wife refused a divorce. My father was just that guy. Oh, how did they meet? My mum was his secretary. What a cliche right? He pursued her much to the dismay of his family but he was in love and those closest to him knew it. Knowing my father, he would always get his way – now I know where I get it from. My mum tried to leave him, they had their fair share of arguments and fights – but he was adamant – and good looking and super suave- and once when he followed her to England and begged her to be in his life forever she caved.

Nairobi in the 60’s and 70’s and mum was the talk of the town. Of course her family disowned her – that is until they found out how rich her husband was. That’s when they all found a way to ‘forgive’ her. Even her mother – the real one- found a way into her life. My father spoilt her family, spoilt us kids, spoilt his kids from his first wife and spoilt his family. He was an all in all good guy and never denied his responsibility! He would make my mum dress up for him everyday – in a sari, with her hair done (salon done mind you).

Their love story is for an entirely different blog. This blog is for MOM!

My father died 10 years into their marriage. He was shit loaded to say the least. Let’s just put it this way – my mum loved to drink vimto, he bought her the vimto factory in Kisumu. Mother was not business savvy. Mother trusted way too many people and as people go – they took advantage. Unfortunately, these were not just “people” – these people were “family”.

When I got married I spoke of my family as Nick, my brother and my mum. That’s it. Oh yes, there is an extended family but my arse have they ever made me feel a part of anything! Let me see – when times were good, people were around us. There were parties and food and drinks would flow. She was the hostess with the mostest! Her way of dressing was unique. Her beauty in undeniable. Her style and demeanor – most women try and impersonate until today.

The thing about my mother is she is an honest soul. She never let my brothers or I get away with lying or borrowing things without returning them. She was strict with us. We grew up alcohol and cigarette free. I dabbled – but when she found out I was pounded! Hey my thing was that someone had to keep my fathers memory alive. But my father was more than his whiskey and cigarettes – and that is where we get our philanthropic side from I suppose.

So back to mum. Honesty makes you enemies. She was so blunt and outspoken that people began to distance themselves. The truth hurts I suppose. We live in a world where lies and ass kissing gets you to where you need to be. My mother would have none of it. If you did her wrong or if you lied, she would catch you out and ensure you knew that she is not to be lied to.

Alas, lies were what were being told to her left, right and center. May be it is because we were too young to defend her or stand by her. But she gave – diamonds, money, title deeds to “family” and “friends” and when time came for her to ask for her things back – she was given a cold shoulder.

One time a member of the family put a gun to her head and demanded money - another time, she was burnt with a hot skewer by the same guy - again, for money. You think these things only happen in movies.

The thing about mum is that she stood by her principle. In a world where beauty can get you anything – she stood her ground. A man she dated for a while, after my dad died, offered she move in with him in a big house in a plush estate, but without the children was the condition. The kids could stay in Loresho – school fees paid for, rent paid for, with a cook – but no mum. I have to say he had balls and obviously did not know my mum well enough despite dating her for 7 years. Suffice to say that that man is no longer in her life.

She sacrificed so much for us and other people.She is living a real life, like it or lump it – you have to accept her for who she is. Today she is more outspoken than ever before and has a bit of a hard heart.  The hard heart is because of all the nasty people who treated her like shit when they had the power to do otherwise – am sure they are proud. I wish she had it from day one – then she would not be in the position she is today. But she does not complain – not even a bit. 

This is to my mummy who is a beautiful soul and despite the hard journey life has given her remains steadfast, gorgeous and loving to the people that matter most in her life.

I love you momma and always will...happy mother's day! Thanks for teaching me to stop giving a shit about those who don't really give a shit about you.

(By the way, she tells some bad ass rude jokes too)