A love story...

I have to tell you a sad love story, I have no idea how it ends, I just hope unlike the other love stories, this one does not end in tragedy.....

I fell in love, deeply. But my relationship, over time, has changed. When I fell in love I was young, I was made to feel alive, beautiful and I thought this was it. I fell in love and it was a passionate relationship but today I look back at our relationship and I see things have changed.

What happened to that Kenya I fell in love with? Kenya used to love me, I would be a tourist in my own country and be able to afford it- now a night in Mombasa, in the hotels I like, cost about how much I would not like to spend on a room that I will hardly be in - after all, I go to the coast for the beach, not for the room. Kenya used to have time for me - there was no traffic, I could get from Loresho to town in all of 15 minutes at 11am or about 25 minutes maximum during rush hour. Today am in traffic for four hours at a stretch and people shrug their shoulders and say its the norm.
Kenya used to wine and dine me - I used to love the restaurants - I still do, they are exotic and offer all sorts of cuisines but it is too darn expensive to be able to afford a good meal. I used to be able to buy lunch for myself and a friend for about Kshs.600 today it costs an arm and a leg!
Kenya used to have self-esteem and pride. Now I look around and I feel that the place is prostituting itself. Every corner in Nairobi has been sold and is now being developed leading me to feel that I am in a concrete jungle. What happen to the Green of our capital city? When the film Out of Africa was released everyone in the world wanted to visit our great country - it was such a great way to market Kenya - but now the Far East is a better place to visit, say the tourists - it is still cheap and cheerful and not so corrupt as East Africa.
Kenya was polished and refined. Today it is crass and somewhat cheap!
Kenya was my security - today I am not so sure about relying on this country. It is not as strong as it used to be and as for the security, well, let's just put it this way - getting woken up at 5am because of gunfire on the road parallel to mine is a tad unnerving.
I see that Kenya has become a little heartless. I hear stories about how it is progressing, yet I am never made to feel that I have shared in the success. When a countrys economy grows - the people who live in the country should benefit, right? I see that Kenya favors the rich, they keep getting richer, and feels nothing for the poor - they keep get poorer.
The only thing I see rise is inflation in our relationship - sad huh? A woman has needs!
Ah my relationship with the Kenya I fell in love with has changed. Kenya has, I am ashamed to say, become violent. At one time we could boast peace! We were the most peaceful country in Africa. No civil unrest, no huge atrocities until I saw my country bleed during post-election violence in 2008. I lost faith, I lost trust.


I don't want to give up on this relationship, I made a promise to this country. I can walk away, but that is the easy way out, we have history my country and I. My love for this country has grown and we have had some magnificent times. I look at our relationship though and I feel that it is mostly one-sided. I keep giving (taxes, fees, blah blah blah) but I get nothing back.
My heart aches and breaks for the direction we are headed, I want to do something to bring us close together again. I want to believe in my first love again, but I am scared. I am not sure if I am able to trust.

I fell in love with my country, Kenya. I need a reason to keep loving it. Kenya, fight for us - our love. With me on your side we can conquer the world - but give me reason to believe in you again, give me a reason to love you the way I used to.