Be careful what you ask for...

So anyone with a voice/blog/facebook page is sharing their views on the Westgate attack.

It has taken me almost 3 weeks to get around to writing something about what happened.

The days that have passed us have gone by all too quickly and I have spent most in quiet reflection, as usual - going within to garner strength and finding a way to replace fear with faith.

I told my mum that she can build a house with the amount of bricks I am shitting on a daily basis! We laughed and then the reality of all this came back.

I am going to be honest, I am scared.
I have not walked into a mall since. Westgate was my second home and I am heart broken!
I lost friends. Friends got injured but I also heard amazing stories of the goodness of people but somewhere inside me, I feel a void.

I met Caroline Mutoko over the weekend at a birthday party and she had some choice words to share. She said that this is our country. Where in the world can we enjoy such pleasures, but what are we doing to protect it? How are we, you and I, safe guarding this land of ours?
I read something by Sunny Bindra where he said something similar, this is our nation, but for as long as we partake in little things like corruption we are responsible for the outcome. This is the outcome? A bitter pill to swallow.

You know, the day before this happened, I was at Westgate booking Starjump for my daughter's birthday. I asked the guy there to please send his staff of Westgate to the party because my daughter loves them. He laughed and said he would see what he could do because Saturdays were their busiest days. Her birthday was a week later and you know what - by the grace of God, all the Starjump staff were unharmed, except the guy I spoke to who got a bullet wound in the leg but is recovering - and they were all at Ariyana's birthday. Be careful what you ask for...

How many times did us animal lovers drive past Peponi Road and see the hawkers sell cute dogs and cats on the roadside? How many times did we say to ourselves 'ugh, this is cruel, I wish it would just stop!' I drove on a very empty Peponi Road today - and all the hawkers are nowhere to be seen. Be careful what you ask for...

I feel sick. There is an eerie quiet in my capital. Something has been taken from us. I cannot put my finger on it but as much as life has gone on - things are not normal. They probably will never be. I am sad that something as simple as going to the mall has been snatched away from me.
In 98 there was a terror attack but nothing like this. May be this one is different because I am a mama.

Anyway, I am just spreading the word of peace. But the peace starts within us. We have to be at peace within ourselves and then can we spread it. What we think, what we say all becomes a reality, evidently!

Someone tweeted me and said I am too quiet ... I am, because I don't know if what I am saying anymore is helping.
So our politicians stripped down naked and took pictures doing the nasty - I am no one to judge.
So what our security forces stole and looted - who am I to judge?
How much complaining will make me a better person? How much negativity need I spread so that my world is better? Zero!

I have resolved to be at peace within myself. I am no one to be judge and jury. If you see that I do not tweet as much it is because everything I want to say may make me sound like a preacher and I am not ready to force my philosophies down your throats.

For now all I am doing is spreading the power of prayer - I pray for my family, for you, for my nation and for peace. I am trying to be as positive as possible because now I know.. what I ask for can become my reality. I don't want to ask for anything but peace.
I refuse to be worried too much about little bullshit nonsense.. this includes how I look (sometimes) - so if you see me at the supermarket (dashing in and out) in my pyjamas without any make up, yep - that's me, former Miss Model! And if you see me using a cheap ass phone and not the latest smart phone - yes, that's me and my status symbol, because these things do not fucking matter anymore.
And yes, if you hear me using the F word from time to time, yep, that's polite, soft spoken me - all grown up and a bit pissed off but working on herself - to spread good vibes because that is all that matters!

Love and light to you and yours :D




 

Devious or delusional?

I have recently been addicted to watching devious maids.. what an interesting, well kind of, series. I tell you when I switch it on, it does give me that escape that is needed.

Speaking of devious, I have recently found myself surrounded by people who are constantly plotting and planning and going out of their way to ensure that things are not what they seem to be. For me, I have always been an open book. I think my trusting many people and being so open in the past got me in a lot of nasty incidents. I think people did not take me for the fool I was and instead thought I was super devious and very crafty that they just did not like me and found flaws and fault in me.

Now-a-days I do not trust that easily. I take caution in what I am saying lest it be used against me. Don't get me wrong though, I still call a spade a spade, however I pick my battles. If you are not important to me and you come up and obviously speak a mouthful of nonsense to me, I will shrug my shoulders and the words in my head will be 'how stupid do you think I am?' as I politely smile and nod as the verbal diarrhea ensues.
If you are important to me then you know lying to me or trying to or even wasting my time with idle gossip is not going to get you anywhere.

But do not think I do not gossip. I am a girl. I am human! But I do it with people who know what gossip is - harmless banter that makes us giggle and updates us on what is going on, but the thing is we know we need to move on after our dose, there are plenty of more things to talk about - like business, babies and shoes!

I honestly wish I had this knowledge 10 years ago. I did not realize that everyone is playing a game. People hide travel plans, wedding plans, even going to the supermarket plans - why? When I was in radio I was open and honest about the direction I wanted to head and may be told a few (100) people. I didn't realize that they would use that information to make sure I would never reach my goals. But the thing is, how much effort goes into making sure you destroy someone else. It must be exhausting!
And when do you get time for your own life?

There is a saying 'always speak the truth, it is much easier to remember..' There are the liars who just love to lie! You know you know a person like that right? Everything that comes out of their mouths is just a blatant lie and not because they have to lie, but because they love to lie. What bothers me is the web of lies that follows! How do you keep up with what you said when all you spoke was a thousand and ten lies? Do people like that have some sort of a memo pad where they keep notes of everything that they have said that is untrue? Do they also think that they are fooling us?

Bob Marley said it well when he said 'you can fool some people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time.'
Devious, its a great word, but not for me. I would still be a straight shooter, to a limit. If I don't want to tell you the truth then trust me dishing out lies to you would take way too much time, I would just smile and wave.. like the penguins of Madagascar..and mosey the hell on!

Have a fab week x

Explore..

So it has been ages and ages and ages and ages (ok you get the idea.. it's been a while) since I blogged. The biggest reason that I have not blogged is because I cannot get into dashboard from google chrome so I had to open this up in explorer to blog. I had tweeted about this problem and asked my fellow bloggers to come to my aid.. so if you can I still need the help. TIA (thanks in advance)

So, tell me all! Whatchu been up to? How you been? Give me all the goss! Dish all the dirt! Look at me asking you to talk to a computer screen, how silly...

With me, life is awesome...aside from the fact that I think we were almost car jacked last night, life is so good. I get a bit worried with the insecurity in this country it is all sorts of kray right? I just hope that our prez gets his ass into gear and beefs up the security. All this while he is putting out fires, dealing with poachers, negotiating with teachers, flying to China and dealing with floods on Thika Road! Poor guy, has a lot on his plate, but he best step up his game!

Ariyana is growing up beautifully. Her 3rd birthday is coming up; I wanted a fairy themed party, she wants a Mickey Mouse theme - I have to get over the fact that the party really isn't for me, it is for her. So I have been doing all sorts of Mickey Mouse hunting. It is fun though.
She is asking all sorts of questions, as they do, but she also comes out with very intelligent statements that leave me quite baffled at times. Kids I tell you, what a joy!
And before you ask, I am trying for the second but it just ain't happening! I am sure it will in good time, just like with Ariyana it took time. Also I have been busy with work and all sorts of great projects that have me super busy at the minute.

So, good news, I reached out to my half brother and we reconnected after 10 odd years. But this time because he is in a good space as am I, we were able to really reconnect and celebrate being 'Ghelani's'. He has so much research into the family's history - it is super intriguing to find out where I have come from.
This is a story for an entire book, forget a blog! But I have to say it is awesome to just know how much we have in common as we had the same father. Blood is indeed thicker than water!

Well, now that I am back albeit via explorer, I shall blog more and I shall blog often..

Chat soon my peeps
Pinky

Stop Gap

"You have neglected your dog..." He said
"Pardon?" I said, not quite understanding what he meant.
"You have neglected you blog..." The voice on the other side of the phone was clearer.

Aah! My blog!
How are you? Have missed you tons.

I am trying to balance it all and I will be blogging soon.

This is just a stop gap.

Give me until June and (in the words of Arnold Shwazzeneger  (spelling??)) "I'll Be Back!"

The first of 2013

Happy 2013.
Last year was crazy busy and it got so bad that I had to stop blogging. I had no time to switch on laptop, log on and type a few crazy sentences. I am sorry. For those of you (may be 1) die hard addicts, it was very mean of me to cut of the supply. I am normally a person you can depend on as well as being consistent, I deliver! So, am sorry that your fix of pink was scarce towards the end of last year, I just couldn't juggle all that was coming my way in my usual graceful way!
Also, the world was meant to have ended, so my theory was that I would never have had to write a blog apologizing!

One a serious note, I should not be complaining. I am the new editor of Home & Living magazine which is what kept me so busy. Putting a new magazine together is hectic, but man was it fun! Also I was filming for Fashion & Style - the TV show that airs on NTV. Of course, I am a mama too and  that takes first priority! So between work, my baby, the dogs, running a home, tending to husband, looking after my business, bikram yoga-ing I had to sacrifice one thing...

So, how was the end of 2012 for you? To be honest, mine was pretty crappy. There were a lot of friends who passed away and a lot of negative energy about. The world did not end, but for some it did. I will not get into details because it will depress the both of us!

Anyway, just a quick note to let you know that I am still here. I feel inclined to blog but  sometimes I get a bit lost about what to write.
I have to dash, feb issue of H&L is a calling

BOO(b) (breast scare)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I have been a supporter of the campaigns for over 12 years now. I was very sad when Mary Onyango of the Kenya Breast Health Program lost her battler earlier this year against this dreaded disease. We have had some great fun with her and Ida Odinga and other top personalities in raising awareness for this cause!

So come the beginning of the month I changed my avis on facebook and started tweeting about it, in fact @thepinkmove also gave me a gift for being their follower. But I have to be honest, I was not practicing what I was preaching.
Since I had Ariyana I stopped doing the breast exams. The day after she was delivered I noticed a painful lump in my right underarm. Of course, I had just delivered a baby and emotions were all over the place that I started crying on detecting it thinking that I am going to die and that was the end of that. How irresponsible of me because with all the campaigning I have done for breast cancer, I was more educated than to just jump to a conclusion.

I ignored the lump and the pain and it went away. A few months ago I started getting another pain. This got me a bit concerned. I started seeing signs, people all around me were getting breast cancer friends, aunts, etc. I tried to get my mind off it and switched on the TV- my channel of choice was E! and saw that Gulianna Rancic had breast cancer and got through it and my mind just kept thinking the worst.
I was just scared. I did not want to go get it checked because knowing my luck, they would find something and it would be yet another challenge I had to face!

I spoke to two very good friends of mine who then pushed me to go see a doctor. They are the reason I am blogging about this subject. So my friend sets me up an appointment with a top breast specialist (or a breacialist as I like to call him). I get to the appointment with a huge lump in my throat.
I walk in and he shakes my hand saying he is so happy to finally meet me and that he knew my dad. Wow, could this get anymore awkward?
After the routine questionaire he then tells me that he is going to examine me. Right, so my late fathers pal is going to feel the boobies. Odd? I undress and lie down, he comes along and I look to the right, blink a lot and hold my breath. He goes on with his business and I am feeling super uncomfortable for two reasons; 1. because he is my dads friend and 2. because my dads friend is going to tell me I am going to die!

After what seems like an eternity he finishes and asks me to get dressed. He tells me that my breasts are rather lumpy (ati?) but this is normal for someone my age (for the record, that would be 16) and that all is ok and I have nothing to worry about.
Wow! What a relief. I am so happy I could kiss him, but then I had enough action for the day!

Point is - early detection can save lives and truth is, as my friends told me, I was worrying about nothing. Ladies, make sure you do check and look after yourself and your girls! Support the cause and the awareness campaigns, they are for a very good reason and the noise is made so that you can stop, take 20 minutes and get your boobies felt.

RIP Mary and to all the others who fought the fight...

Stay Pink this October - maridadi.com and suziebeauty.com have worthwhile causes you can support, log on to their sites and find out how.

Pinky xxo

Justin Beiber minus the flick of the hair..

The more I blog, the more I get confused how to start my blog..
Do I start it like a letter? Dear Reader, thank you so much for coming back to read my thoughts... Or do I start is like a phone conversation? Hey! What's up? How's it going? Or I could start it like I am posting on your facebook wall; Last night was craaaay (tag here) lets do it again soon and this time we can invite (tag here) and (tag here) - of course, in a blog, this would make no sense at all!

Anyway, that was a nice ice breaker and now I do not have to waste 30 minutes on how to start my blong. Ariyana turns two on Thursday! It is so exciting for me because I do not believe where the time has gone and she is reaching this fun age and stage where she is talking and saying things that make me feel so proud because I had a part in creating that.. Being a mama is fun beans.

So let me tell you about this thing that I am addicted to - Bikram Yoga. Basically its 26 yoga postures in a hot room - now when they say hot they mean 40 degrees and up. So yes, it gets pretty intense in there to a point you want to pull your hair out just so it can take the pain of the heat away. The concept behind it is clever, but I cannot tell you what has me addicted to this. I keep talking myself out of it but before I know it, there I am - in hot pants and a tiny top - stretching and sweating and then taking a break and lying down for the rest of the lesson. Its a 90 minute class and you are drenched by the time you walk out of it, but weather you lay down or stretched your ass off, you still feel like super woman when you walk out of the class.

Other than that, I hosted Baby Banda over the weekend - it was so fun to see so many women who are preggers and looking fab. Feeling fab is far from how they were feeling, but it was a good laugh all the same.We talked about boobs and breast milk and sexual positions and ...oh ya, baby too!
Someone walked up to me and said "I love your show Pinky" and I just didn't have the heart to say that there is no show no more. May be she meant to say I loved your show.. Either way, I let my head grow. Then of course there were photos after the event, I felt like Justin Beiber - but then again, I am a Kenyan Asian Celeb (ref to blog before this if you are confused)
Remind me to blog about an email I received - this is how it started 'Dear Pinky, I am still your fan.....' Yah, I stopped reading it at that sentence.

Anyway, just thought I would connect with you, I thank you for reading my blog although Google has refused for me to make money off this. Every time I apply it says "REJECTED" as though I have committed a crime! Shame, but who cares, I do this more for the love of the fact that I can share my (was going to use a bad word here) thoughts with you and you read and comment. Appreciate it.

Have a good one and remember to be a blessing.