Stop Gap

"You have neglected your dog..." He said
"Pardon?" I said, not quite understanding what he meant.
"You have neglected you blog..." The voice on the other side of the phone was clearer.

Aah! My blog!
How are you? Have missed you tons.

I am trying to balance it all and I will be blogging soon.

This is just a stop gap.

Give me until June and (in the words of Arnold Shwazzeneger  (spelling??)) "I'll Be Back!"

The first of 2013

Happy 2013.
Last year was crazy busy and it got so bad that I had to stop blogging. I had no time to switch on laptop, log on and type a few crazy sentences. I am sorry. For those of you (may be 1) die hard addicts, it was very mean of me to cut of the supply. I am normally a person you can depend on as well as being consistent, I deliver! So, am sorry that your fix of pink was scarce towards the end of last year, I just couldn't juggle all that was coming my way in my usual graceful way!
Also, the world was meant to have ended, so my theory was that I would never have had to write a blog apologizing!

One a serious note, I should not be complaining. I am the new editor of Home & Living magazine which is what kept me so busy. Putting a new magazine together is hectic, but man was it fun! Also I was filming for Fashion & Style - the TV show that airs on NTV. Of course, I am a mama too and  that takes first priority! So between work, my baby, the dogs, running a home, tending to husband, looking after my business, bikram yoga-ing I had to sacrifice one thing...

So, how was the end of 2012 for you? To be honest, mine was pretty crappy. There were a lot of friends who passed away and a lot of negative energy about. The world did not end, but for some it did. I will not get into details because it will depress the both of us!

Anyway, just a quick note to let you know that I am still here. I feel inclined to blog but  sometimes I get a bit lost about what to write.
I have to dash, feb issue of H&L is a calling

BOO(b) (breast scare)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I have been a supporter of the campaigns for over 12 years now. I was very sad when Mary Onyango of the Kenya Breast Health Program lost her battler earlier this year against this dreaded disease. We have had some great fun with her and Ida Odinga and other top personalities in raising awareness for this cause!

So come the beginning of the month I changed my avis on facebook and started tweeting about it, in fact @thepinkmove also gave me a gift for being their follower. But I have to be honest, I was not practicing what I was preaching.
Since I had Ariyana I stopped doing the breast exams. The day after she was delivered I noticed a painful lump in my right underarm. Of course, I had just delivered a baby and emotions were all over the place that I started crying on detecting it thinking that I am going to die and that was the end of that. How irresponsible of me because with all the campaigning I have done for breast cancer, I was more educated than to just jump to a conclusion.

I ignored the lump and the pain and it went away. A few months ago I started getting another pain. This got me a bit concerned. I started seeing signs, people all around me were getting breast cancer friends, aunts, etc. I tried to get my mind off it and switched on the TV- my channel of choice was E! and saw that Gulianna Rancic had breast cancer and got through it and my mind just kept thinking the worst.
I was just scared. I did not want to go get it checked because knowing my luck, they would find something and it would be yet another challenge I had to face!

I spoke to two very good friends of mine who then pushed me to go see a doctor. They are the reason I am blogging about this subject. So my friend sets me up an appointment with a top breast specialist (or a breacialist as I like to call him). I get to the appointment with a huge lump in my throat.
I walk in and he shakes my hand saying he is so happy to finally meet me and that he knew my dad. Wow, could this get anymore awkward?
After the routine questionaire he then tells me that he is going to examine me. Right, so my late fathers pal is going to feel the boobies. Odd? I undress and lie down, he comes along and I look to the right, blink a lot and hold my breath. He goes on with his business and I am feeling super uncomfortable for two reasons; 1. because he is my dads friend and 2. because my dads friend is going to tell me I am going to die!

After what seems like an eternity he finishes and asks me to get dressed. He tells me that my breasts are rather lumpy (ati?) but this is normal for someone my age (for the record, that would be 16) and that all is ok and I have nothing to worry about.
Wow! What a relief. I am so happy I could kiss him, but then I had enough action for the day!

Point is - early detection can save lives and truth is, as my friends told me, I was worrying about nothing. Ladies, make sure you do check and look after yourself and your girls! Support the cause and the awareness campaigns, they are for a very good reason and the noise is made so that you can stop, take 20 minutes and get your boobies felt.

RIP Mary and to all the others who fought the fight...

Stay Pink this October - maridadi.com and suziebeauty.com have worthwhile causes you can support, log on to their sites and find out how.

Pinky xxo

Justin Beiber minus the flick of the hair..

The more I blog, the more I get confused how to start my blog..
Do I start it like a letter? Dear Reader, thank you so much for coming back to read my thoughts... Or do I start is like a phone conversation? Hey! What's up? How's it going? Or I could start it like I am posting on your facebook wall; Last night was craaaay (tag here) lets do it again soon and this time we can invite (tag here) and (tag here) - of course, in a blog, this would make no sense at all!

Anyway, that was a nice ice breaker and now I do not have to waste 30 minutes on how to start my blong. Ariyana turns two on Thursday! It is so exciting for me because I do not believe where the time has gone and she is reaching this fun age and stage where she is talking and saying things that make me feel so proud because I had a part in creating that.. Being a mama is fun beans.

So let me tell you about this thing that I am addicted to - Bikram Yoga. Basically its 26 yoga postures in a hot room - now when they say hot they mean 40 degrees and up. So yes, it gets pretty intense in there to a point you want to pull your hair out just so it can take the pain of the heat away. The concept behind it is clever, but I cannot tell you what has me addicted to this. I keep talking myself out of it but before I know it, there I am - in hot pants and a tiny top - stretching and sweating and then taking a break and lying down for the rest of the lesson. Its a 90 minute class and you are drenched by the time you walk out of it, but weather you lay down or stretched your ass off, you still feel like super woman when you walk out of the class.

Other than that, I hosted Baby Banda over the weekend - it was so fun to see so many women who are preggers and looking fab. Feeling fab is far from how they were feeling, but it was a good laugh all the same.We talked about boobs and breast milk and sexual positions and ...oh ya, baby too!
Someone walked up to me and said "I love your show Pinky" and I just didn't have the heart to say that there is no show no more. May be she meant to say I loved your show.. Either way, I let my head grow. Then of course there were photos after the event, I felt like Justin Beiber - but then again, I am a Kenyan Asian Celeb (ref to blog before this if you are confused)
Remind me to blog about an email I received - this is how it started 'Dear Pinky, I am still your fan.....' Yah, I stopped reading it at that sentence.

Anyway, just thought I would connect with you, I thank you for reading my blog although Google has refused for me to make money off this. Every time I apply it says "REJECTED" as though I have committed a crime! Shame, but who cares, I do this more for the love of the fact that I can share my (was going to use a bad word here) thoughts with you and you read and comment. Appreciate it.

Have a good one and remember to be a blessing.

SULK!

The other day I had lunch with a friend of mine. It was super fun, we ate sushi and drank juice and caught up on so much that two girls can possibly talk about in the span of 2 hours! In the corner of the restaurant were a group of people that caught my eye. As I looked up I realised that I knew 80 per cent of the people sitting there. It was a large group and they were getting their sushi on!
After my friend and I parted ways I joined this group of people for a drink, because one of the hosts of this lunch insisted I do so. I obliged. The group was made up of the who is who in the law world, if you will. I loved listening to the jokes, their humor is on point and it was enjoyable to be in their company. 

Anyway, I joined them just as the main person, a friend of mine from many years ago, was making introductions as to who he was hosting for lunch. He introduced the Attorney General and PLO - the prof, amongst other notable business men and women. When it came time for my introduction, he said that I am "an Kenyan Asian celebrity who blah blah blah.." I stopped listening.

In all my years in my field as a media personality and a philanthropist and as a model, I just felt a bit shafted with that mediocre title. Who are we kidding? We live in a world where we go by titles. When at a social gathering the first question is 'What do you do?' and if you are not interesting enough the person chatting to you will move along swiftly!
I have worked years in the industry - I have presented radio shows, produced radio shows, presented and produced TV shows, written for newspapers, acted, been featured in music videos, been an editor of a magazine,written for top magazines and newspapers, done PR work for the likes of Chanel O, MTV and other top names,  been a judge at most major events, I have traveled the world and the entire Kenya meeting dignitaries as Miss India Kenya, given huge sums of monies and/or donations in kind as a philanthropist, I have produced events and kicked ass on major catwalks. I am a public speaker events locally and internationally and I have represented the voices that could not be heard on South Africa, Dubai, UK and other worldwide media and been on the cover of most if not all Kenyan magazines (hey no one else is going to write about it, I may as well....) and all I can get introduced as is 'A Kenyan Asian celeb'!

I was quite disgusted with my PR people. They have done a crap job and have been fired! Apparently I also featured in some top 100 list of the Asians in Kenya and they also downplayed my achievements.

Sorry, but this blog comes from pure ego!
That afternoon I left that group of people not feeling proud of myself at all. Yes sure, the AG knows me but  I do not want to be just known as a 'Kenyan Asian Celeb' - pardon the french - but what the f does that mean?
Excuse me while I go work on a project that will ensure I am never ever introduced or put on a list for just being pretty - I have worked my ass off to get where I am in my life. I can't say I have a particular job description at the moment, but I sure as hell know that I am far more than just a 'Kenyan Asian Celeb.'

(mumbles something that cannot be typed lest the readers of the blog lose respect for me!)

Until the next blog...arrogance has taken over and I am officially throwing a tantrum (ati Kenyan Asian Celeb...eh!)

Aren't you somebody?

I have been so inconsistent with this blog this year. I guess BAKE will not be throwing any awards my way any time soon! To be honest, I have missed sharing my thoughts and telling you about what has been going on but on the flip side I have been too busy doing a whole load of nothing!

Well, we start off with some bad news. My Father In Law passed away a month ago. That to me was heart breaking. I have seen death at different stages in my life and it always seems someone I love or my dogs or someone who is near and dear just decides that they are going to leave. No warning, no goodbyes, just gone, poof, like that!
The day my fil passed away was such a heavy day. In fact when I go back and think about the day I start to feel drained out and like I have no energy all over again. That day was eerie. It was weighty and I wish I had listened to my gut or my instinct so that somehow or the other I could have prayed for him, sent him healing, stopped it from happening. This is the thing about us human beings - we really think we are in control right? Me and my ego. As if we can stop fate?

In my life I have done plenty of soul searching. I found it hard though to answer Rajs question when he asked; where do we go when we die? I have no idea! I do have my own thoughts - my own theories, but they are mine. If I was to share them with him I would either find myself being driven to an asylum or being handed divorce papers. They are not that bizarre, but I do not think religion and science would ever agree with me! I told Raj that only he can take the spiritual journey that leads one to the answer of that question, if there is one.
I keep repeating myself though; each death occurs to teach us. To teach us that there is some finality in all that we do on this earth. We lust after things and people. We acquire, we save, we sometimes steal. We lie, we cheat, we hurt others. We laugh, we drink, we buy clothes and travel to fancy places. We marry, we make love (not always in that order), we fight, we cry, we write, we create and sometimes we destroy. But our end is all the same, and the fact is we take nothing with us. Who knows if we even take the memories.

Death is here to teach us to be nice to one another. Hang on, I am not even preaching - no waaay, because I know that in this here "I, Me, Myself" era it ain't gonna happen. I am just saying. Because when someone goes, you realize that all he or she takes with him is love - the love he/she was shown during their lifetime. Being a good human being, some say, helps you in the after life too- so really if you are a good person - even to your enemy, all your doing is helping yourself for now and for beyond.
But being good without expectation. Truth is you will be disappointed, hurt and let down if you expect others to be good just because you are.

The point I am trying to push is this; be good because you have the power to. Keep silent when you can talk crap. Stay on your path while others go astray. I read a quote today and I will it share it on my blog with you. A man looked around and he saw all the destruction on earth and he spoke to God and said 'God, why doesn't somebody do something?' and God said 'Aren't you somebody?'

The change we are looking for begins with us.

Have an awesome week. Be a blessing xo

Dear Daddy in Heaven

18th May 2012 marks 30 years since my daddy passed away.

Maya Angelou - When Great Trees Fall

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.

Miss you N N G