I have to tell you a sad love story, I have no idea how it ends, I just hope unlike the other love stories, this one does not end in tragedy.....
I fell in love, deeply. But my relationship, over time, has changed. When I fell in love I was young, I was made to feel alive, beautiful and I thought this was it. I fell in love and it was a passionate relationship but today I look back at our relationship and I see things have changed.
What happened to that Kenya I fell in love with? Kenya used to love me, I would be a tourist in my own country and be able to afford it- now a night in Mombasa, in the hotels I like, cost about how much I would not like to spend on a room that I will hardly be in - after all, I go to the coast for the beach, not for the room. Kenya used to have time for me - there was no traffic, I could get from Loresho to town in all of 15 minutes at 11am or about 25 minutes maximum during rush hour. Today am in traffic for four hours at a stretch and people shrug their shoulders and say its the norm.
Kenya used to wine and dine me - I used to love the restaurants - I still do, they are exotic and offer all sorts of cuisines but it is too darn expensive to be able to afford a good meal. I used to be able to buy lunch for myself and a friend for about Kshs.600 today it costs an arm and a leg!
Kenya used to have self-esteem and pride. Now I look around and I feel that the place is prostituting itself. Every corner in Nairobi has been sold and is now being developed leading me to feel that I am in a concrete jungle. What happen to the Green of our capital city? When the film Out of Africa was released everyone in the world wanted to visit our great country - it was such a great way to market Kenya - but now the Far East is a better place to visit, say the tourists - it is still cheap and cheerful and not so corrupt as East Africa.
Kenya was polished and refined. Today it is crass and somewhat cheap!
Kenya was my security - today I am not so sure about relying on this country. It is not as strong as it used to be and as for the security, well, let's just put it this way - getting woken up at 5am because of gunfire on the road parallel to mine is a tad unnerving.
I see that Kenya has become a little heartless. I hear stories about how it is progressing, yet I am never made to feel that I have shared in the success. When a countrys economy grows - the people who live in the country should benefit, right? I see that Kenya favors the rich, they keep getting richer, and feels nothing for the poor - they keep get poorer.
The only thing I see rise is inflation in our relationship - sad huh? A woman has needs!
Ah my relationship with the Kenya I fell in love with has changed. Kenya has, I am ashamed to say, become violent. At one time we could boast peace! We were the most peaceful country in Africa. No civil unrest, no huge atrocities until I saw my country bleed during post-election violence in 2008. I lost faith, I lost trust.
I don't want to give up on this relationship, I made a promise to this country. I can walk away, but that is the easy way out, we have history my country and I. My love for this country has grown and we have had some magnificent times. I look at our relationship though and I feel that it is mostly one-sided. I keep giving (taxes, fees, blah blah blah) but I get nothing back.
My heart aches and breaks for the direction we are headed, I want to do something to bring us close together again. I want to believe in my first love again, but I am scared. I am not sure if I am able to trust.
I fell in love with my country, Kenya. I need a reason to keep loving it. Kenya, fight for us - our love. With me on your side we can conquer the world - but give me reason to believe in you again, give me a reason to love you the way I used to.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Hot or Cold?
So we are heading into our winter and I am kind of enjoying wearing the boots and the sweaters (all until 2pm when it suddenly becomes all blue sky-ish and summery..). But I trust that this July will be a cold one and am out and about searching for warm wear for my little bubba and (perfect excuse) me!
But my title has nothing to do with the weather, the blog is not going to discuss something you discuss when you have nothing to say. What I want to know is what makes people cold one minute and hot the next. Example, when you know someone, are sort of friends, but not really and you meet them a few times and they are very warm, sociable and interact with you. Then after a couple of months they completely snub you. They even make fun of you on facebook (friends of friends tell you this, not that you are their friend on FB, after all you are NOT thaaat close). They act bitchy when they see you, even turn away when you come face to face with them.
Then after a year they see you again and are super duper slurpy and chirpy. These are not the things that make you go hmmm.. These are the things that make you go EH! Like what is wrong with people? I always say though, that it cannot be everyone who has a problem, it must be me - as they say in math, common denominator. I don't even know if that's the right way to describe it.
Here are some examples of hot and cold. A deejay chick-e-dee is someone who wanted a break and would call me when I was at Capital FM. She would ask me to manage her, etc. So I tried, it didn't work out. All the same, I wanted her to succeed so when I was asked to write for Cosmo SA I featured her. The chick stopped talking to me because (she went around saying) I did not want her to be successful. Eh? Then there was a huge celeb wedding and I did not attend and she asked my then brother-in-law where I was and had a giggle about how I was banned from the wedding and my picture was with the bouncers at the door. Eh? First of all, no one needs my pic, I am that famous! Next, I see her at a gig that I was presenting for TV and she was playing at and she came up to me almost in tears and said 'if they didn't want me to play why did they ask me to'. Eh?????
I seem to attract some strange experiences. The point is when I meet someone they have to come out with a sentence to the effect 'Pinky, I had always heard such bad things about you, I always thought you are such a bitch, but you are actually such a nice person.'
Dude, first off, why are you talking about me (scratch that, I know EXACTLY why am being talked about), secondly, you know you don't believe anything and everything you hear and if you do then poor you! Unless you experience something first hand I say always be a non-believer!
But I feel it is always easier to believe that someone is 'bad' or 'cruel' or 'a bitch' before you get to know (which takes time) for yourself. I feel if you hear that someone is a nasty piece of work it makes you feel better about yourself and your life.
Gossip, if anything, actually negates the persons bad karma - this is my strong belief. So if you sit there and talk about me or anyone else, you take away any bad karma we are meant to face AND you add to that persons success!
Why is it so hard to be happy when someone else is happy? Or be thrilled when someone has achieved what you feel you can. Celebrate because it shows that dreams turn into reality - yours or mine! Send happiness and goodwill out and it comes back tenfold!
I remember when I was ripped apart by a friend of mine in the press. It was horrible that someone would want to do that to another person, but it made me a strong individual. I saw her last year and man was she nice to me! Bygones? Water under the bridge?
I wonder though what happens to me when people have been super nasty to me and they turn around and say 'hi' and I smile right back and say 'hi'. Sometimes I kick myself for being so 'nice'. I should have done this or ignored them or showed her the finger - I think to myself. But I thing if I carry anger within me it only burdens me. To be honest, I cannot be asked to carry their load on my shoulders.
Hot or cold, whatever your attitude, I will always send out warmth - for a selfish reason - what you send out, you get back and to be honest, from this point on, I only want GOOD experiences in my life.
But my title has nothing to do with the weather, the blog is not going to discuss something you discuss when you have nothing to say. What I want to know is what makes people cold one minute and hot the next. Example, when you know someone, are sort of friends, but not really and you meet them a few times and they are very warm, sociable and interact with you. Then after a couple of months they completely snub you. They even make fun of you on facebook (friends of friends tell you this, not that you are their friend on FB, after all you are NOT thaaat close). They act bitchy when they see you, even turn away when you come face to face with them.
Then after a year they see you again and are super duper slurpy and chirpy. These are not the things that make you go hmmm.. These are the things that make you go EH! Like what is wrong with people? I always say though, that it cannot be everyone who has a problem, it must be me - as they say in math, common denominator. I don't even know if that's the right way to describe it.
Here are some examples of hot and cold. A deejay chick-e-dee is someone who wanted a break and would call me when I was at Capital FM. She would ask me to manage her, etc. So I tried, it didn't work out. All the same, I wanted her to succeed so when I was asked to write for Cosmo SA I featured her. The chick stopped talking to me because (she went around saying) I did not want her to be successful. Eh? Then there was a huge celeb wedding and I did not attend and she asked my then brother-in-law where I was and had a giggle about how I was banned from the wedding and my picture was with the bouncers at the door. Eh? First of all, no one needs my pic, I am that famous! Next, I see her at a gig that I was presenting for TV and she was playing at and she came up to me almost in tears and said 'if they didn't want me to play why did they ask me to'. Eh?????
I seem to attract some strange experiences. The point is when I meet someone they have to come out with a sentence to the effect 'Pinky, I had always heard such bad things about you, I always thought you are such a bitch, but you are actually such a nice person.'
Dude, first off, why are you talking about me (scratch that, I know EXACTLY why am being talked about), secondly, you know you don't believe anything and everything you hear and if you do then poor you! Unless you experience something first hand I say always be a non-believer!
But I feel it is always easier to believe that someone is 'bad' or 'cruel' or 'a bitch' before you get to know (which takes time) for yourself. I feel if you hear that someone is a nasty piece of work it makes you feel better about yourself and your life.
Gossip, if anything, actually negates the persons bad karma - this is my strong belief. So if you sit there and talk about me or anyone else, you take away any bad karma we are meant to face AND you add to that persons success!
Why is it so hard to be happy when someone else is happy? Or be thrilled when someone has achieved what you feel you can. Celebrate because it shows that dreams turn into reality - yours or mine! Send happiness and goodwill out and it comes back tenfold!
I remember when I was ripped apart by a friend of mine in the press. It was horrible that someone would want to do that to another person, but it made me a strong individual. I saw her last year and man was she nice to me! Bygones? Water under the bridge?
I wonder though what happens to me when people have been super nasty to me and they turn around and say 'hi' and I smile right back and say 'hi'. Sometimes I kick myself for being so 'nice'. I should have done this or ignored them or showed her the finger - I think to myself. But I thing if I carry anger within me it only burdens me. To be honest, I cannot be asked to carry their load on my shoulders.
Hot or cold, whatever your attitude, I will always send out warmth - for a selfish reason - what you send out, you get back and to be honest, from this point on, I only want GOOD experiences in my life.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I get that a lot...
I know, it has been two weeks since my last blog, but give me a break- am a full time momma and that is totally time consuming. Plus am organizing FAB, having meetings here and there, trying to sort stuff out, doing the skype meetings, I know I promised a weekly blog – am trying.
So let’s see, whats been happening. Of course, since my last blog, there was the infamous ‘fuel shortage’ in this great nation of ours. As I type this the power keeps going off and coming back on again and I read something in the paper about an impending maize shortage. Aaaaah TIA (this is Africa ..). Something I have written more about in my other blog for Mi Fone. It’s a must read!
What I would love to talk about is shopping! So, here’s me, out with my baby and I notice that the Junctions new wing has opened. Of course in my teens I was a total Mall Rat – but we only had Sarit Center South Africa or Dubai
My favorite mall experience was in San Francisco
Back to my experience at the Junction; I walked into the Mr. Price home shop. I love shopping for my home. I never thought I was creative interior wise, but I love experimenting and playing with colors. The staff is super friendly and it is just a great way to while away sometime. I remember walking into the Westgate shop and they were having a staff meeting and they had to stop the meeting to allow me to come in. I felt soooo super celebrity-ish! It was a nice way to start the day and hey, it did not hurt their sales.
So, it just made me laugh out loud a little when one eager beaver staff member came up to me and said “Hi IFF”… eh? OOOOhhhh he meant EVE. Right. I have to say, that’s not the first time its happened. I have been mistaken for Eve in the past when people think they know me and have seen me in the papers, etc, they just assume because we are both Indian that may be we are both the same people.
I used to get that a lot with Zain. In fact, that is how Zain Verjee and I got close; we were always mistaken for each other. When Raj sees her on TV he doesn’t see any resemblance but yeah, we were often mistaken for each other.
If you think that’s odd; listen to this - Rajs good friend thinks I look like Michael Jackson. Hmmm…I wonder if that is a complement. I don’t mind it so much because at one point in my teen years I so wanted to be (or thought I was) Janet Jackson!
You know they say that in the entire world there are at least 3 people who look like you? I wonder if that means they look EXACTLY like you, or there are just features or certain resemblances that just kinda look like you.
I don’t know what point I am trying to make. Ah yes, I don’t mind being confused for someone else. I don’t mind even being told I look like someone else (ahem, someone once told me I look like a Kardashian…yah, with my FLAT ass, I doubt it). I remember when the pussycat dolls released their first single and people said I looked like Nicole Sherzniger (is that how you spell it?) – yeah, her washboard tummy and my wobbly tummy have SOOOO much in common! Someone said it was the hair…aaah, my hair looks like her?
Whatever you look like, nothing can stop you from looking happy when you get yourself a good buy. I love shopping. I am so excited about the new malls and the new wings and the new shops that are opening up in Kenya
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ding Dong..wedding bells
I do enjoy my life, there is always something interesting going on. I am trying to juggle it, now with bubba getting older, I am able to do a lot more things work wise, but its funny how much I miss her when I am away from her.
Having said that, a girl needs to hustle and get business back to what it was, so I am back to the grind, doing the meetings, the fashion shows, the deals and it feels good.
Of course, it was all about weddings last week. Like most of the world, I was glued to the TV catching re-runs of the royal wedding that seemed to have all my friends floored. It really was a beautiful ceremony and was so nice to watch this couple get wed. Can you believe that this couple had to get married in front of 2 billion people! It is bad enough when a bride has to have things go her way just for 150 people. In no way did our 'commoner' Kate look like she had a moment of being a bridezilla at all. She seemed so regal, calm and serene. Like the fashion critics, I agree, she got the dress right and she just looked stunning. I loved, loved, loved her Cartier tiara and even though I do not know her personally, I found myself crying at how wonderful the ceremony was and how beautiful it all turned out. I was just..sniff...sooo...sniff...happy!!
I wonder how her mother felt, when she was born and she cradled her in her arms, did she ever think that this little girl would be the next queen of England? I made sure I watched the pomp and glamor with my lil munchkin, because, as I explained to her, this could her future family too. (A mother can dream)
Aside from that there was a wedding in the family that I had to be a part of. You could call it a shotgun wedding, which is fine by me. Each to their own. Of course, when the event came around there was so much excitement and fun about it that during the evening party a woman fainted and my gut instinct was to run to her and try and help. I opened a bottle of water and put a little in her mouth and was yelled at by someone who was standing by her legs. 'NEVER EVER DO THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS FAINTED' he boomed. Err, all I was doing was trying to help. I wanted to ask him who on earth he thought he was and wanted to add 'are you a doctor?'. Turned out he was a doctor and in retrospect I should not have assumed that the lady was thirsty. I guess his yelling at me made him feel he was helping her more. Whatever floats your boat dude! I would hate for him to give me bad news in a hospital - can you imagine? Anyways, that did not stop me from dancing the night away.
I started to think about my wedding and how I got married and what I would do differently. I think all wives wish they had done something different on their day. I mean as times change so do themes and decor ideas and cakes and wedding dresses (case in point compare Dianas dress to Kates dress..world's apart). There are so many things available now that I would need thousands nah...millions of dollars to redo my wedding. I think it was the way it was meant to be though. But I would have loved to have done it in Vegas or just taken 70 people to the beach and worn a white bikini a la Pamela Anderson.
I have already started planning Ariyanas wedding, if you are a mom you get it! I know exactly how I want it to be. But I have to remember one thing, it is not my wedding - I will have to respect her wishes and allow her to plan it the way she would want it - what would make her happy. Someone told me something that still rings true - weddings are mostly for the parents of the bride and the groom, if the couple are OK with that then they can let their parents take over. Otherwise the best thing is to just do it your way because 5 years later, unless you are Kate and Will, no one will really remember what YOUR day was like.
Also you will be stuck with your wedding album for life and you have to be able to look at the photos and feel really, really happy because that was exactly the way you wanted it to be.
I was given some fantastic advice when I got hitched; be in the moment, and that is advice I can only pass on to future brides. Sometimes we get so caught up in the silly stuff that weddings are made of that we forget who was there and when you think about it the memories are like a blur and super vague. Be in the moment, soak it up and enjoy - the moment will never come back so treasure it and enjoy!
Having said that, a girl needs to hustle and get business back to what it was, so I am back to the grind, doing the meetings, the fashion shows, the deals and it feels good.
Of course, it was all about weddings last week. Like most of the world, I was glued to the TV catching re-runs of the royal wedding that seemed to have all my friends floored. It really was a beautiful ceremony and was so nice to watch this couple get wed. Can you believe that this couple had to get married in front of 2 billion people! It is bad enough when a bride has to have things go her way just for 150 people. In no way did our 'commoner' Kate look like she had a moment of being a bridezilla at all. She seemed so regal, calm and serene. Like the fashion critics, I agree, she got the dress right and she just looked stunning. I loved, loved, loved her Cartier tiara and even though I do not know her personally, I found myself crying at how wonderful the ceremony was and how beautiful it all turned out. I was just..sniff...sooo...sniff...happy!!
I wonder how her mother felt, when she was born and she cradled her in her arms, did she ever think that this little girl would be the next queen of England? I made sure I watched the pomp and glamor with my lil munchkin, because, as I explained to her, this could her future family too. (A mother can dream)
Aside from that there was a wedding in the family that I had to be a part of. You could call it a shotgun wedding, which is fine by me. Each to their own. Of course, when the event came around there was so much excitement and fun about it that during the evening party a woman fainted and my gut instinct was to run to her and try and help. I opened a bottle of water and put a little in her mouth and was yelled at by someone who was standing by her legs. 'NEVER EVER DO THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS FAINTED' he boomed. Err, all I was doing was trying to help. I wanted to ask him who on earth he thought he was and wanted to add 'are you a doctor?'. Turned out he was a doctor and in retrospect I should not have assumed that the lady was thirsty. I guess his yelling at me made him feel he was helping her more. Whatever floats your boat dude! I would hate for him to give me bad news in a hospital - can you imagine? Anyways, that did not stop me from dancing the night away.
I started to think about my wedding and how I got married and what I would do differently. I think all wives wish they had done something different on their day. I mean as times change so do themes and decor ideas and cakes and wedding dresses (case in point compare Dianas dress to Kates dress..world's apart). There are so many things available now that I would need thousands nah...millions of dollars to redo my wedding. I think it was the way it was meant to be though. But I would have loved to have done it in Vegas or just taken 70 people to the beach and worn a white bikini a la Pamela Anderson.
I have already started planning Ariyanas wedding, if you are a mom you get it! I know exactly how I want it to be. But I have to remember one thing, it is not my wedding - I will have to respect her wishes and allow her to plan it the way she would want it - what would make her happy. Someone told me something that still rings true - weddings are mostly for the parents of the bride and the groom, if the couple are OK with that then they can let their parents take over. Otherwise the best thing is to just do it your way because 5 years later, unless you are Kate and Will, no one will really remember what YOUR day was like.
Also you will be stuck with your wedding album for life and you have to be able to look at the photos and feel really, really happy because that was exactly the way you wanted it to be.
I was given some fantastic advice when I got hitched; be in the moment, and that is advice I can only pass on to future brides. Sometimes we get so caught up in the silly stuff that weddings are made of that we forget who was there and when you think about it the memories are like a blur and super vague. Be in the moment, soak it up and enjoy - the moment will never come back so treasure it and enjoy!
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